Disturbing Behavior

Being the new kid in a small town isn’t the easiest experience on the best of days. Everyone else already knows each other; you stand out from the crowd without so much as saying a word. Now imagine being the new kid in a town where the most prominent faction — the Blue Ribbons — are all perfect angels. Except that they might actually be pure evil, and that you are the only person who will be able to stop them. Such is the life of Steve (James Marsden), who begins Disturbing Behavior moving to Cradle Bay, a coastal town.

Steve immediately befriends some outcasts. Gavin (Nick Stahl) is a stoner. U.V. (Chad E. Donella) is also a stoner. Rachel (Katie Holmes) is “the girl.” She’s friends with the stoners so she’s probably also a stoner. A rundown of the cliques and factions occurs, and we’re shown the Blue Ribbons, and how perfect they are, even if something doesn’t seem right about them. It’s like they’re too perfect, and also people sometimes wind up dead. Former outcasts are met by Blue Ribbons and instantly “converted.” It’s almost as if mind control is being used…

More and more people start becoming Blue Ribbons until it’s eventually time to do something about it. So, Steve and co. have to both uncover just exactly what’s going on with the Blue Ribbons, and then put a stop to them. That is assuming, of course, that something is actually wrong with them. I wouldn’t want to give that away, now, would I? Wait. Of course I would. Something is definitely wrong with them. We wouldn’t have a movie if there wasn’t.

In theory, Disturbing Behavior is supposed to be a horror movie, or perhaps a semi-scary thriller. It is neither. There are no scares or thrills to be found. There is also no character development, good acting, competent dialogue, or anything beyond a kind of interesting premise. I’m not sure what someone is supposed to get out of Disturbing Behavior but it’s something that I wasn’t able to find. From almost start to finish, there was nothing to enjoy about this production. It was dull and dumb.

There are barely enough ideas here to make a feature film. Disturbing Behavior runs just over 80 minutes and about half of that probably could have been trimmed. The film’s director is David Nutter, whose greatest prior success was probably directing some X-Files episodes. At 44 minutes long, Disturbing Behavior probably would have been more successful. It would play well on the small screen, too. Consumed with commercial breaks and all, it would distract for an hour of TV while you wait for the next sports game to come on, or right before bed.

But as a feature film? It’s just not good. The standards are raised when you’re asking your audience to pay ten bucks or however much to view your product, and when it’s not even as good as a mystery TV show they could watch for free, you’ve got some problems. The only reason to watch Disturbing Behavior is if it’s on late-night cable and you can’t sleep. Chances are that it’ll put you right to sleep. Writing about it now is giving me just that sensation.

There’s a good chance that the film was made quickly and cheaply, done when the actors had some free time over a couple of weeks just to try to turn a quick profit. You know those comedy films that show up every now and then that look like buddy hang-out projects? Same kind of thing, except I have no idea if the actors here are friends in real life. I do know that they’re bland and don’t show any acting talent in this film, but I don’t know if that’s a fair indication. I don’t know how easy it would be to show enthusiasm for this project.

Disturbing Behavior probably had a decent idea for a movie buried somewhere within it, but that premise doesn’t shine through in the finished product. This is a dull, drab, and dumb movie with very few, if any, redeeming qualities. It’s not scary, it’s not thrilling, it doesn’t make you think, it doesn’t make you feel, and it won’t make you appreciate a single aspect about it. There are TV shows with better episodes that require half the time and none of the financial investment (assuming you have cable). Watch one of those instead.

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