FDR: American Badass

Netflix may have failed me again.  Months ago, The Mike and I set out to watch a ridiculous Netflix film and then proceeding to podcast on it.  That title was known as Poolboy: Drowning out the Fury starring Kevin Sorbo.  What transpired was a night of Mike and I just starring blankly at each other not believing what we just saw.  The title was awful.  It was meant to be low budget and terrible but Poolboy was worse than anyone can ever imagine.  We then attempted to podcast for The Box Office Boredom Show about it and we rambled on about everything but Poolboy.  In fact, that episode of The Box Office Boredom Show never aired.  Poolboy killed the podcast.  We have questioned releasing the episode but don’t want to bring that sort of punishment upon our fans.

After starting FDR: American Badass I started to realize that I recognized a few familiar faces in the film, and it wasn’t just Bruce McGill and the “jump to conclusions mat” guy from Office Space. I started to notice people I shouldn’t know.  And then it dawned on me; these people were in Poolboy.  A quick jump to IMDB confirmed what I had already began to fear– FDR: American Badass came from the untalented mind of the director of Poolboy: Drowning out the Fury.  Trying to block Poolboy from my mind I forged forward hoping FDR: American Badass would be a better film.  Sadly enough–it is not.

It’s easy to poke fun at a film like this because of it’s low budget qualities and over acting on over dramatized terrible set pieces.  However that’s not the problem with the film.  I can put up with that.  The humor is chocked full of bad racial humor and toilet humor.  Whenever you start to have a little humor that can at least generate a smile the film travels down the path of 2 year old potty jokes such as a side character with an obsession of defecating in a vase, or long montages about oral sex for votes.  It’s really sad because the film has a plot so stupid that it just might work; FDR contracts polio from Nazi Werewolves and goes on a quest to stop evil werewolf masterminds from taking over the world.  Ok…even as I type that it sounds stupid, but I assure you– this * could * work.  However it does not.

There is oh so much one could say about this film that would continue to drive it into the ground, but the direction and story do such a nice job of that on its own; the makers of FDR: American Badass certainly don’t need my help in convincing you that this film is terrible.  I spent the last 2 days wondering if there was any positive moments in the film.  I was hard pressed to find them but here are some highlights.  Kevin Sorbo– Sorbo plays Abraham Lincoln (How Spielberg didn’t cast his as Lincoln in the biopic is beyond me!!).  In all seriousness it is meant to be campy and Sorbo pulls off the pot smoking Lincoln in a scene that may be one of the best parts of the film.  The other thing that had me laughing was FDR on the campaign trail.  In one scene he finds himself talking to dock workers about the state of the union.  The dock worker starts telling him this tale, “Tommy used to work on the docks –Unions been on strike–He’s down on his luck… it’s tough, so tough. Gina works the diner all dayWorking for her man, she brings home her pay for love- for love.”  I found myself laughing and then breaking into my best “Livin’ on a Prayer Bon Jovi rendition once it happened.  Moments like that are so stupid that they work.  However those scenes are few and far between.

When it is all said and done, this film isn’t worth the digital stock it is filmed on.  I like to assume that the makers of this film accidentally deleted the “good footage” and made a film out of all the screw ups.  Sadly enough though I know this is not the case.  This film is a step up for the maker of Poolboy, however just about anything is.  Think about it- a film that revolves around a side character defecating in vases is a step up; what does that say for quality of previous works?   The film is flat out terrible.  I questioned if the film should be awarded the coveted “Box Office Boredom’s “Wes Craven Presents: Carnival of Souls” Award for Movie Awfulness” but I realized that isn’t even fair to the award.  That award is designed for films that think they are something–yet are so terrible that they hurt your soul when you watch them.  (Previous Inductees have been Wes Craven Presents Carnival of Souls, Wes Craven Presents THEY, Get Carter (Stallone’s Version) and End Game (starring Kurt Angle)).  FDR: American Badass and Poolboy: Drowning out the Fury don’t deserve to be in that caliber of film.   When an already “B” movie attempts to be a “D” quality movie on purpose it shouldn’t be rewarded.  It should be scolded and forgotten about.  This film is a waste.  Avoid at all costs.  I wish I did.

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