Blitz: Jason Statham in the same movie- Again!

Most movies starring Jason Statham are the same.  As a film maker you make Jason Statham this quiet, character who could kill a man with a spork and then drop this character into any scenario.  Whether he’s a good guy or bad guy-you don’t bet against Statham.  In fact, he’s become the action hero of the new generation.  If you really think back, no matter if it is Crank, The Transporter, The Mechanic or any other Statham film, you can easily mix them up. That’s how interchangeable they have become.  Enter another into your Statham repertoire, Blitz.

Blitz stars Statham as a cop who has anger management problems and tends to strike first and think about repercussions later.   It seems to get him in trouble with the chief, but not enough to ever get him fired.  In other words, he plays every cop in every police drama ever.  And when a serial killer starts targeting cops, its up to Statham to track him down and stop him before he strikes next.

That’s really all you need to know for this film.  The story is generic.  The characters are cookie cutter.  Plot points are interchangeable with every other run of the mill police drama you’ve ever seen.  A film like Blitz is designed to be a Jason Statham action flick.  You head into this film looking for Statham to kick butt and take names.  The problem is, Blitz doesn’t exactly deliver on that promise.  The action seems to be a bit more low key compared to other films of his, and we spend more time with him as he angrily pouts and stomps about trying to connect the dots to a story  that no one really cares about.  If you know anything about Statham action films there is always at least one scene where one or two people are swinging fire axes at his head.  Don’t worry, I’ll give you a few minutes to think about the truth in this statement before I continue. The point is, Blitz does not have a fire axe battle sequence, or really even too much Statham action for that matter.

I really feel like the biggest problem with Blitz was simply a terrible story.  One can’t blame Statham for delivering the same performance he has since he became America’s new action hero and he certainly brings that performance to Blitz. Instead, I have to blame the boring, generic plot.  The film is 90 minutes long but felt well over 2 hours.  I wanted to zone out after the first 45 minutes thinking we were near the end of the film.  Sadly enough I found that there was still 45 minutes left.  I certainly hope that the writers of this film did not think they were creating a piece of original work.  Instead they took a formula that is over done and made it terrible.  One of the biggest plot points that really came off very poorly was the introduction of his partner who was transferred in from another department to help with the case.  They took great care in pointing out that he was openly gay and made sure that Statham and company made their fair share of homophobic remarks.  Despite it all, Statham’s character does have a moment where he tells the guy that he respects him as a cop; after all you can’t have your action hero be a homophobic, anger induced cop who likes to beat people up.  That’s just taking it too far.  None the less they take this very simple, unnecessary plot point and push it to the fore front instead of focusing on a more interesting story.  It’s as if the writers thought who needs a good story when we can create bad character development instead.

I really wish I could give you a list of what Blitz does well but there isn’t much to say.  It starts, it ends and it stays on the straight and boring generic path that its predecessors have followed.  It is relatively short, but feels much longer than it should.  It’s low on high octane Statham action and really provides nothing much worth noting.  If you get nothing else from this review just remember Blitz isn’t really worth your time.

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