Post Grad (Does anyone like this film?)

I’ve had notes for this film sitting on my desktop for quite some time. Those of you who are facebook and twitter fans may have seen some of my rants about Post Grad as I was watching it, but I could never quite bring myself to putting pen to paper (or keyboard to site) about the film. However, one thing I kept going over and over in my head was How on earth did this film get made?

Post Grad takes the most generic, mediocre plot that a kindergartner could come up with during recess and tries to make it into a feature film. It follows Ryden Molly (Alexis Bledel) as she struggles to get the perfect job and perfect boy right out of college. Forced to move back home with her eccentric parents she of course learns that life is not about getting what you want, but instead wanting what you’ve got. I wish I could say there is more to it, but I summed up the entire movie in 2 sentences. I really didn’t leave out many details either. This film was one stale, mediocre pile.

One might ask me why exactly I was watching Post Grad, after all it’s not really a guys movie and didn’t have any critical acclaim.  And by now the film is well on its way to its 2 year old birthday. Alas, the simple reason is Alexis Bledel. Rory Gilmore has a special place in my heart, as I found myself tuning into Gilmore Girls on the WB/CW during it’s last few years of run time. Rory became my movie star dream girl replacing Julia Stiles who pre-Dexter seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth. Now, now before you start questioning me- Alexis and I are not that far apart age wise. In fact, we are the same age. Of course I’m not going to lie, her Gilmore mom, Lorelei (Lauren Graham) isn’t hard on the eyes either, and with the show’s witty banter, great characters and charm, Gilmore Girls has become a show I have no shame in admitting finding enjoyment. With Alexis stepping out of the role of Rory, I figured why not support the actress’ career. Even though Post Grad looked “lame”, I thought I would give it a try.

What I found was the type of movie that I have no idea who green lights. What person pitches the following and gets the green light? What we have here is a story of a snobby smart girl who doesn’t get her dream job and moves in with her parents.  She in turn finds that the boy of her dreams was right under her nose the whole time and that life isn’t about dream jobs and money.  Roll credits!!

I began thinking that my ire towards this film was because I was not the target audience.  So I began on a quest asking every one I knew would eat this film up for a short review.  The results were just as terrible.  My wife, who loves her teen dramas and normally gets giddy at the sight of stuff like this asked if we could turn this film off half way through.  I inquired with other friends who shall go un-named- they too had great scorn for the film (at least those who had heard of it).  I thought surely I might hear a kind word from Holly also known a (H-Bomb) from Optimus Prime and Prejudice.  I thought for sure this might be Holly’s type of film.   Surely she could find some good in it, in fact Holly can find the good in most things!  Alas, I found Holly sharing the same disgust for the film that I had.   In fact in all my limited travels to find the person who liked Post Grad, I still have not found said person.  They have to exist, after all there are people in the world who like things like Torque (and who wouldn’t!)  and All The Real Girls (proof that there is someone who likes everything).

The fact of the matter is this film got green lit because it was considered “too stupid to fail.”  The plot formula was re-hashed from days of old, and they thought they had something that would work.  They gathered up an out of work TV actress who had sucesses in the target demographic and somehow convinced Michael Keaton to play the role of crazy ol’ Dad.  It did also star that creepy kid from Martian Child, who I have determined is only in bad movies.  Don’t deny…it’s true, he’s creepy and in bad movies.  Aside from paying the salaries of these two talented but lesser seeked actors and the coaxing the creepy kid from Martian Child on set with pretzels, Post Grad ran on a shoe-string budget and created something that will live on in DVD mediocrity.  The problem is, Post Grad probably made it’s money back already.  Enough so to make Post Grad 2 a direct to DVD sequel in the future starring Amanda Cosgrove and Justin Bieber.  (No- Beiber fans, I know nothing of this project- it’s just a pretend movie!!).

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