Archive for October, 2010

The Last Exorcism

Starring: Patrick Fabian, Ashley Bell, Louis Herthum
Directed by: Daniel Stahmm
Rated: PG-13 for disturbing violent content and terror, some sexual references and thematic material
Movie Released: 2010
IMDB Link

With the chilly winds of October blowing through the land, and little kids across the nation dressed up as ghouls and goblins roaming the streets for candy, it seemed like the perfect time for a good old scary movie. Late on Thursday evening/Friday morning my job forced me to watch a print of  The Last Exorcism. That’s right folks, some weeks I get paid to watch movies at 1:00 AM! As it turns out, when your choices of film are The Last Exorcism or My Soul To Take and you are not a horror buff it came down to a simple coin flip to decide. A heads up coin flip chose The Last Exorcism and so the projector was fired up and away I went on this journey into demon possessions.

Now as many of you know, my horror movie back ground really comes from living with From Midnight With Love and BoxOfficeBoredom.com contributor, The Mike. With his feet firmly rooted in all things frightful, The Mike has always been and always will be my horror guru. Many of the horror films I have seen were diversions from studies in my college dorm days and while blood, guts and gruesomeness make me squirm with unease, I found myself sitting through some really strange stuff. My background on exorcism films really revolves around The Exorcist and The Exorcism of Emily Rose and I’m sure only a few others that have slipped my mind. In fact, in thinking back to my exorcism movie experiences, I was reminded of the website Final Girl, and her exorcism movie flowchart.

I went in to The Last Exorcism knowing little about the film, and quickly found one thing I really enjoyed; the film flows like a documentary of an actual exorcism.  The film follows a preacher who has lost his faith in God and performs fake exorcisms.  He tells the camera that all exorcisms are fake; he is simply performing a service that makes people think they are being healed, which in turn heals them.  As the documentarian follows this preacher for a small southern town to perform an exorcism for deeply religious crazed father things go a little crazy.  From the get go our troubled preacher, Cotton Marcus, thinks this is going to be the standard dog and pony show he’s pulled 1,000 times before.  He meets Nell, the farmer’s daughter who is supposedly demon possessed and slaughtering animals at night.  With her father believing it is the work of Satan, Cotton goes to work doing what he does best, “casting out” demons.

It was pretty apparent to me (or so I thought) where this film was going after the first 15-20 minutes of the film.  While I was initially hoping that maybe this wouldn’t be true, I found myself sucked into the films style and really enjoying the slow burn ride to the end.  Even an exorcism film virgin can tell you where this film is headed.  Of course the “exorcism show” isn’t going to work in this instance, and the faithless preacher has to begin questioning if there truly such a thing as demonic possession.  That’s all fine and dandy though; like I said, it’s fun uncovering it with him.

The Last Exorcism runs a whole 88 minutes (That’s right folks it’s a long one!).  I can honestly say for 84 of thoseminutes the film had me intrigued.  The plot kept taking some twists and turns that made it intriguing and I was having a good time and experiencing a little bit of fright.  And then….the last 4 minutes happened.  As the conclusion of the film unfolds I sat in my theater seat staring blankly at the screen before busting out with a “What is going on here?!?!?” cry.  Suddenly everything that the film worked so hard trying to distance itself from came crashing down.  With out going into detail (however, I will put a small invisible spoiler blurb at the bottom for those who want to highlight and read it) the film seemed to turn into exactly what I didn’t want this film to be.  I left the movie thinking that it was victim of one of the following: 1.) The writers were idiots and didn’t know how to end this thing or 2.) This totally got messed up in the editing room by some horror moron with a re-write.

As I said, I enjoyed the style of the film and really enjoyed Patrick Fabian as the preacher.  Fabian ons this role, and is one of the most believable characters on film I have seen in quite some time.  Also Ashley Bell who takes on the role of possessed girl, Nell does a great job with the script she is given.  I found it interesting that a a little trivia fact is that Bell has hyper-mobility, meaning she did all the bends and contortions of her body on her own.  No special effects were used despite the fact that it looks like some were most likely used in the film.    Where this film went wrong for me was of course the ending, and secondly I always have a dislike for the way Christians are portrayed in these types of films.  They always make them out to look like nut jobs who couldn’t get any nuttier,  but then again maybe you have to be a special sort of nuts to be inhabited by demons.  It always makes me wonder though, why exactly do demons theoretically pick the most religious families they can find?  After all, if I were a demon I think I would want to spend my time on earth hanging out with Dexter Morgan.

When it was all said and done, The Last Exorcism was a little indie movie that could.  I had a lot of fun with it.  It gave me some thrills and chills and wasn’t your standard horror film (at least in some regards).  While this normally isn’t my cup of tea, I enjoyed it and would suggest it to others (the last 4 minutes not with standing).  Well done Hollywood.

BoxOfficeBoredom Bonus Features:

The Mike’s (our resident horror buffs original review of the film:  Click Here

And now for Jason’s spoiler filled rant (highlight below):

Aaargh!  What was that?!?!?  The film spent some much time making you think that everything was a hoax and there is an explanation for everything.  There seemed to be some deep rooted psychological message there and then it suddenly gets cast aside for Satan worshipers, demon babies, giant fireballs and a crazy brother with a pick axe?  It felt to me  like the film just didn’t know how to end; it was like the writers got done and then said, “Wait this is a horror film- we gotta end it with ill explained Satan worshipers and slasher antics! ”

When Cotton returns to the farm after finding out that Logan’s sexual orientation really doesn’t make sense for him to be shaggin’ in the back of his car with Nell, I was expecting something totally different than what I got.  Because the film had strange supernatural occurrences that had all been more or less explained by shame and a deeply troubled, psychological disorder, I was expecting the following:  I expected Cotton to return to the farm to find out that Nell had been raped by the town preacher and everything that followed was a psychological result of it.  That would have explained why the father pulled her out of the church because of a suspected problem (one that even he didn’t know the true depths of).   In fact, the whole time it didn’t make too much sense to me that such a religious family wouldn’t attend a church at all so I kept thinking there was more than what was being led on at the church.  Now of course, yes, there was- but I wasn’t expecting the Satan worshiping, demon baby, anti-christ fiasco that ensued.  I was looking for something a little more grounded.  Perhaps a little more opened ended, but logical explanation like the end of An American Haunting.

If any of you horror buffs know if the ending was changed and Hollywood-ized I would love to know about it.

Thanks for reading and a listening to my rants!


Where are they? Wednesdays: Rob VanWinkle (Vanilla Ice)

All right stop collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop yo I don’t know
Turn off the lights and I’ll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle

Rob Van-Who?  Rob VanWinkle, that’s who.  Rob VanWinkle better known as Vanilla Ice in the late 80’s/Early 90’s  created one of the most memorable hip hop/rap songs of the 90’s with Ice, Ice Baby.  The Vanilla Ice, wannabe- rapper craze caught on propelling him to hip hop super stardom despite a collection of ridiculous parachute pants, one shaved eye brow and a bouffant hair hair style that inspired young Robert Pattinson to sport his tribute to Vanilla in the film Twilight.  Ice’s popularity grew enough to even star in his own low budget film, Cool As Ice, available to watch on Netflix Watch Now. (Click here for a 25 second clip from the wonderful film, Cool as Ice! -what exactly does he ramp his bike on to jump that fence?)  His movie career also lead him to a small role in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2, performing the “Ninja Rap” on stage with the turtles.

For more information of the earlier days of Vanilla Ice, I encourage you to read the Vanilla Ice autobiography, Ice By Ice if you can find a copy.  This painfully funny autobiography is written in Ice’s  90’s style, starting out each chapter with a rhyme that is “smooth as Vanilla, and cold as Ice.”   (Don’t believe me that it exists? – Check out Amazon.com)

By 1994 Vanilla Ice had fallen out of the limelight, was heavy into the drug scene and really had lived a rags to riches to rags type story.  A one time fan favorite, Vanilla Ice had run his course.   His sound changed drastically into this hard rock/rap sound that people really weren’t grasping on to and to quote the Offspring, he was not exactly “pretty fly for a white guy.”  He tried to capitalize on his Ice Ice Baby fame by releasing a song “Too Cold” which was a hard metal version of his hip hop hit, Ice, Ice Baby.

In September 2008, Van Winkle signed a contract and recorded  a new cover album.  The album was released on November 4, 2008,  and reviewers called it ”an embarrassing endeavor that sounds like it should have stayed locked inside Ice’s studio (or at the very least leaked on You Tube. In 2009 Vanilla Ice toured with MC Hammer for a brief period, and announced that he is working on his 6th studio album.

But perhaps amongst all of this washed up music man’s endeavors, we find the most shocking thing.  Vanilla Ice is settled down and married with 2 kids.  He obtained his general contractors license and found another true passion- rennovating homes.  That’s right, if you live in Flordia, you can have Vanilla Ice flip your house.  To show off the other side of Vanilla Ice, he teamed up with the DIY Network and is producing his own home improvement/make over show called the Vanilla Ice Project, promising to take your home “To the Extreme.”

So, shed no tears for Vanilla Ice, he’s doing well.  He’s transformed himself from Hip hop joke, to a hardcore musical joke, still retains a strangely loyal fan base, and now is a house flipping, song recording, family man.     Yo- let’s get out of here.   Word to your mother.

Where are they? Wednesdays: Jonathan Ke Quan

The name Jonathan Ke Quan may not mean anything to you initially if you were a child of the 80’s.  But  if I mention Data from The classic film, The Goonies, you will be shouting out, “THATS WHAT I SAID! BOOBY TRAPS!” before I can finish the sentence.  If you haven’t pieced it together, today’s where are they Wednesday is devoted to The Goonies Data.

Quan is probably best known for his child acting in The Goonies and in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.  However, Quan’s acting resume is quite short beyond that.  The last film we saw him in might have quite possibly been in 1992, in a little film called Encino Man.  So, it’s quite obvious that Quan isn’t acting now days?  What happened to him?  Did he get caught in one of his own booby traps?

No, he did not end up in Booby Trap land, Quan found his niche behind the camera and decided to try his hand at other things rather than grow up a struggling former child star.  Quan got a degree from  USC film school and began dabbling in the world of film.  Over the span of the years, Quan has dabbled in writing, editing and at one time took a job as a foley artist.  However Quan seems to have safely found his home in fight choreography.  In fact you can see Quan’s work on films like The One (with Jet Li) and even worked on the fight choreography in X-men.

So all in all, rest assured Where are the Wednesday fans, Data is alive and well and quite happy behind the scenes.  While of course you can never say never, it looks like Quan is quite happy behind the camera rather than in front of it, and a return to acting won’t probably happen soon.

Cop Out

Starring: Tracy Morgan, Bruce Willis, Sean William Scott
Directed by: Kevin Smith
Rated: R for brief language
Movie Released: 2010
IMDB Link

If it had been the 90’s and you told me that Kevin Smith had made a film that was so colossally bad that you would want to gouge your eyes out with a rusty spork, I would have laughed and checked it out anyway.  The director found his niche in the 90’s cranking out fan favorites like Clerks, Mallrats, Dogma, and Chasing Amy.  He expanded the ViewAskew universe in 2001 giving Jay and Silent Bob their own movie in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.  But then Kevin closed the book on his famed ViewAskewniverse and opened a new chapter in his life, known as Jersey Girl.  The Affleck flick, while lovable, became a box office bomb that Smith never recovered from.  His return to the raunchy comedy Zack and Miri (make a porno) was a mediocre success at best, despite pulling in Seth Rogen during the height of his career.  Beaten and broken, Smith ran for cover, complained about the success of Zack and Miri on the Internet, his own podcasts and to any poor street waif that would listen.  Shortly there after he signed up for Cop Out.

Cop Out is the first film that Smith has directed and not written, and it becomes very evident quickly that Smith’s heart just wasn’t in this film.  This buddy cop film features Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan in a throwback to films like Beverly Hills Cop, Midnight Run, Tango and Cash, and Lethal Weapon.  Willis plays a hard nosed divorced detective who is struggling to pay for his daughter’s outlandish wedding before her new step dad does, and Morgan is his over the top sidekick of a partner.  During a drug bust gone wrong they find themselves smack in the middle of angry Mexican cartel, who just so happens to have obtained a baseball card worth $85,000 that was once in Willis’ possession (and was going to pay for the wedding).  In order to prove that crime doesn’t pay and to get his card back, Willis and Morgan hit the streets to bring down the bad guys and save the day.

It was about half way through Cop Out that I realized I had no ounce of caring left in me.  I didn’t care what happened to these characters, or where the plot went.  This film was all out terrible.  It had a weak story line, two forgettable, over acted main characters in Willis and Morgan and comedy that was written by a two year old.  High point of the movie is an interrogation scene where Tracy Morgan’s character thinks the proper way to interrogate people is to scream lines from Al Pacino movies,  An Officer and a Gentleman, and a “Yippee Ki Ya Motherf****r” for good measure; which of course prompts Willis to ask “Where’s that line from?”  If you’re reading this and saying, Did you really find THAT funny?, the answer is beyond a mild chuckle, no.  But this is really the best Cop Out has to offer.

The rumor is the script for Cop Out (originally titles A Couple of Dicks but determined to be unmarketable by studios) floated around for years as one of these movies that everyone thought should get made, yet never happened.  This project landed in Smith’s lap as a jobber film and he took the paycheck.  On set, Smith was very vocal about Bruce Willis being a “diva” and as a result was not well received by the film’s cast and crew.  In fact Smith had “anti-bruce” swag made up for participants at the films wrap party, which oddly enough Willis didn’t attend.    It’s easy to see that Willis was in fact phoning this one in, as he has the charisma of a pineapple in the film.  If you’re wondering, pineapples have very weak charismatic qualities.

Perhaps what makes this film even worse is Tracy Morgan.  Morgan spends the entire script running around screaming in a voice more annoying the Rush Hour’s Chris Tucker.  At no point do you believe his character is a cop, and if he was you would actually feel more helpless if he tried to help you.  His character is there to spout off at the mouth screaming stupidly and comes off as a slightly mentally handicapped child with turrets.

Smith adds nothing to this film as a director, mostly because Smith’s films work because of his writing, not his work behind the camera.    However, taking this film as a jobber film all he can really offer is a storyboard scene to scene layout of someone else’s generic script.   The end result is we get Smith’s patented choppy style on a film that isn’t working in the first place.

I remember seeing a Smith on a twitter/internet rant on how he HATES critics because they bashed Cop Out.  At the time, I wondered if Cop Out could truly be that bad.  The answer is simply yes, and Smith has nothing to complain about.  The film was indeed bad, however it is the film that has made the most money theatrically to date for Kevin Smith.    Smith has plenty to complain about, and will continue to do so.  After all, Jersey Girl didn’t deserve the bad wrap that it got, Southwest Airlines thinks he’s too fat to fly and the list can go on.  The point is Kevin, you took this jobber of a film and made a dud.  So what, who cares?  Every director does it.  You’ve got a strong fan base, a huge podcast listnership, and make millions every year off “Silent Bob Speaks” spoken word events.  Why blow away any credibility you have defending Cop Out?  I know I sure wouldn’t.

Wall Street

Starring: Michael Douglas, Charlie Sheen, Daryl Hannah, Martin Sheen
Directed by: Oliver Stone
Rated: R for language and nudity
Movie Released: 1987
IMDB Link

Gordon Gecko once said that “Greed for lack of a better term, is good.” That saying must have been running through the brains of Oliver Stone as he ramped up to revive the 80’s stockbroker classic, Wall Street with a sequel last weekend Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps. If Douglas’s return to the silver screen wasn’t enough to get you coughing up the dollar bills to see the film in theater, perhaps it’s time to revisit (or see for the first time) Wall Street.

I am ashamed to say that it wasn’t until recently that I finally put that copy of Wall Street I had in the DVD player. Ihave no clue why but I always thought the film was some epic thing that was going to span an afternoon. Instead, it runs a smooth 2 hours in length, far from the ginormous film I pretended it to be in my procrastination. For those not familiar with the film, it follows small time stock broker, Bud Fox (Charlie Sheen) as he goes from small time to big shot as he is taken under the wing of Gordon Gecko (Michael Douglas), a Wall Street prime time player. This rags to riches tale is set on the coat tails of a stock market boom, and the fast paced, high price world of the international markets of the 80’s.

For a film that was made in 1987, it is amazing to see how well Wall Street has held up as film. Sure, it has it’s share of synthesizer music, and at one point, Charlie Sheen sports a cardigan that no man should be seen alive in, but all in all the film holds up. I guess that goes to show corruption on Wall Street is eternal. In fact as we see ourselves smack in the middle of one of the biggest recessions (if not depressions) of our time, it is both intriguing and inferiorating that we see corporate big wigs like Gecko toss our 401 K’s around like pocket change.

Of course the highlight of the movie is Douglas as Gecko, the perfect smooth talking, love to hate, genius in a pinstripe suit. Nearly poised as the devil himself, Gecko could sell a “crap Popsicle” to a woman in white gloves. (No, I did not mess that saying up- purely intentional ya’ll). In fact Douglas earned himself an Oscar for the role of Gecko and it’s not hard to see why. Gecko, love him or hate him will have you chiming two bit money catch phrases while wearing your favorite power tie in no time. Along side him, you have the young and naive Bud Fox, played by Charlie Sheen, who just doesn’t see the big picture. It’s the perfect teacher/student type bond that has no where to go but south.

Oddly enough as much as I enjoyed watching Wall Street, I found director Oliver Stone’s narrative to be trite and preachy, even for the time period when it was originally made. Stone seems to lecture the audience for the two hour run time rather than entertain. I found myself at moments thinking back and almost wanting to watch the film Boiler Room instead. Make no mistake, it’s been years since I have seen Boiler Room, and despite it’s throwbacks to Glengary Glen Ross and Wall Street, I still found enjoyment in it (perhaps I view it more fondly now than upon first viewing). Now I’m not touting Boiler Room as the superior film, in fact it’s probably far from Wall Street, and certainly not the next Citizen Kane, but from what I remember the film had similar plot lines and didn’t feel as over worked and force fed on the evils of big business; and Boiler Room seemed to do it with a Hollywood hipness at least at the time.

In the end, I was happy I took the time to watch Wall Street, and would even go as far as saying it’s worth a view. Douglas as Gecko alone is worth the viewing, as you get to watch a great actor bring to life one of the greatest anti-heroes the silver screen has seen in quite some time. In fact, it’s enough to make you want to watch Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps despite terrible reviews and a story line that can’t be much different than it’s predecessor. But why not get your Gecko fix on the original Wall Street this week and save Money Never Sleeps for a rental down the road.

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