Archive for April, 2010

Gamer

  • Written by Jason
  • Posted April 29, 2010 at 11:13 am

A Review by Jason L. King

Starring: Gerard Butler, Michael C. Hall, Kyra Sedgwick
Directed by: Neveldine/Taylor
Rated: R for frenetic sequences of strong brutal violence throughout, sexual content, nudity and language.
Movie Released: 2009
IMDB Link

Set in the future, Gamer tells the tale of what it would be like to be a pawn in a real life video game.  As a way of living out your fantasies, a billionaire video game developer has found a way of changing people’s brainwaves so they can be controlled by other humans who pay to play these live action games.  One of the most successful games is Slayers, a 1st person shooter game that re-enacts battles with their human participants.  But when the controller of the games most sucessful warrior, Kable (Butler) listens to a rogue group of anti-gamers and turns Kable loose, Kable sets out to bring an end to the game and restore his life to something normal again.

If you’re confused by reading the above synapsis, don’t feel bad.  Watching the film gives you about just as much clarity.  This film had an interesting idea, but was so over the top and so ridiculous that it’s amazing that the plot makes as much sense as it does.  The film clunks away for 95 minutes serving two purposes, gunfire and sex.  Sadly enough, neither of them are really done that well.  As a viewer you spend much of your time in one of two worlds; the Slayers world where Gerard Butler is running around shooting people, and the Society world where people control other people in a Sims like environment.  The Society environment is really just an excuse for Internet perverts to indulge in their sexual fantasies by controlling another human being, and Slayers brings you all the blood and guts of war with out having to actually be in the battle.

Directed by Neveldine and Taylor, who’s previous claim to fame is Crank and Crank 2: High Voltage, Gamer does very little to stray from the all out ridiculousness of their previous films.  It amazes me to no end how these two continue to get work, as it seems that each film they make out does the previous one in sheer and utter stupidity.  Not only do Neveldine and Taylor feel they have a gift to direct, but they also write their own material.  The end result is a quickly edited, shaky cam, strobe light, chop cut film that has about the style and grace of a crippled chimp trying to perform the ballet moves of Swan Lake.  It’s amazing how these two manage to have any moments captured on film that are worth the price of the celluloid it is printed on.

The story behind Gamer could have some depth behind it, but Neveldine and Taylor never really give that story a chance to breathe.  Instead, they go for the quick almost torture porn attempt at instant gratification leaving little substance to actually resonate in your brain.  And just when you think they have taken every possible step into the realm of stupidity, the two prove that they can take it one step further.  Enter a scene where Slayers creator breaks into a song and dance number as he sends his mind controlled goons to take on Gerard Butler.  The only explanation that I can use to justify this scene was the use of some sort of narcotic during the conception and execution of the idea.

It’s hard to really enjoy any of the characters in the film and that certainly has nothing to do with the acting.  Both Michael C. Hall (of Dexter fame) and Gerard Butler try to keep this film a float, but the film reeks of such overblown plot points that it’s next to impossible to do so.  I certainly hope both of these actors signed on to this film with only one goal in mind, a paycheck.  If they chose to work with Neveldine and Taylor because they felt that the writer/director duo had a hint of creative genius I actually feel sorry for them.

When it was all said and done, Gamer was a waste of celluloid and a waste of DVD discs.  While I suppose somewhere in the world someone could find a practical use for a DVD of Gamer, at this time I’m not sure what that is.  I suppose the disc could be a $15 drink coaster and would complete your Neveldine/Taylor coaster set (assuming you have Crank and Crank 2 coasters as well!).  The point is, this was 95 minutes of my life that I can never get back.  I don’t mind spacing out and watching a truly awful movie now and then, but Gamer wasn’t even an awful movie that had any redeeming qualities.  There was no silver lining in the dark cloud known as Gamer.  As I turned off the DVD player and began writing this review I realize that I am actually dumber for having seen Gamer.  Don’t follow in my footsteps.

Final Grade:

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Filed under: Action, Movies, Science Fiction

Big Fan

  • Written by Jason
  • Posted April 28, 2010 at 3:34 pm

A Review by Jason L. King

Starring: Patton Oswalt, Kevin Corrigan
Directed by: Robert D. Siegel
Rated: R for language and some sexuality.
Movie Released: 2009
IMDB Link

I was born and raised a Minnesota Vikings fan.  So of course, I easily subscribe to the old saying that “real men wear purple.”  I was a Vikings fan before being a Vikings fan was cool.  The rules of being a Vikings fan were (and unfortunately still are) pretty simple.  For 16 weeks you cheer for a team knowing that your super bowl dreams are far fetched, and no matter how bad your team is at least you don’t have Brett Favre as your quarterback.  Well…most things stay the same (does anyone know- is he retired again? And has he decided if he wants to buy that TV from Best Buy?).  The point is, I love watching football, but I’m not a big fan.  Sure, I had a hard time accepting the fact that Brett Favre is the Vikings Quarterback (and still do), but at the end of the day it’s just a game.

Now on the other hand, I happen to know someone who also reviews for BoxOfficeBoredom.com and his own blog, From Midnight With Love (who of course shall remain nameless) that truly is the definition of a “big fan.”  This fan lives, eats and breathes green and gold, and up until last year never experienced a Packer game with out the almighty Favre.  For 16 weeks a year, this fan (wearing his Reggie White jersey) yells at his TV and angrily uses his twitter and facebook accounts to plot the demise of the Packer’s weekly foe.  When the Packers lose, this guy feels like his heart has been ripped out and stomped on.  And of course when his childhood hero jumps ship and pummels the Packers on Monday Night Football, it takes this poor guy everything he’s got to get up the next morning.

The point is, while I am not a true “big fan” , I feel like I know enough about the subject to understand the inner workings of one who truly is.  Robert Siegel’s film, Big Fan, tries to take a stab at what it would be like to be a slightly mentally unstable football fan who just happens to be beaten within an inch of his life by his quarterback hero.   Torn between making a police report that could put his hero behind bars, and letting him get away with an assault charge for the greater good of The New York Giants, this super fan deals with a large internal struggle.  Compounded with a dead end job, and an older brother that pities him, Paul (Oswalt) really has very little going for him except the New York Giants.   Paul is hell bent on making sure that others know of his team colors, calling in nightly to a sports talk radio show and arguing with a Philadelphia Eagles fan with his pre-written motivational script.

From start to finish of Big Fan, you have a very hard time getting your brain wrapped around the film.  Paul (Oswalt) is not really a lovable character, and you find yourself feeling pity for him, rather than liking him.  He is such a deranged, obsessed fan that he has devoted his life to football, and lives at home with his mother.  Paul lives his life like a 14 year old boy, with a room complete with posters of his sports heroes on his wall.  His best friend, is an equally challenged sports fanatic that only furthers your pity for the two die hard, dimwitted Giants fans in this film.

What makes things even more stranger is the choice of putting Patton Oswalt in the role as the “big fan.”   Oswalt doesn’t necessarily scream football fanatic in any way, shape or form, and instead seems more like a comic book reading geek, who would much rather hang out in comic book shop playing Pokemon rather than be in the parking lot of Giants Stadium.  The point is, Oswalt really isn’t that convincing as a true big fan.   His partner in crime, Kevin Corrigan manages to pull it off quite well, but Oswalt just doesn’t deliver.

First time director Robert Siegel takes a stab at writing and directing Big Fan, and while I admire his attempt at pulling double duty on the film he should have spent more time on one or the other.  The film reeks of overblown and overdone cheese.  In fact, Siegel tried too hard to point out the almost pathetic nature of his characters, so much so that you don’t find them believable.  For example, there is a scene where Oswalt’s character forces himself to wear his rival teams colors, and the director tries to focus on how much this truly sickens him to do so.  While it would be certainly hard for me to wear a Favre jersey, I don’t think I would lose my lunch over it.

Top off a overblown script and mediocre performances, the film ends just about as quickly as it begins leaving you scratching your head.  However, despite the strange ending to this film it is really hard to see the film end any other way.  After all, Siegel takes great care in trying to point out that this super fan is not really the most mentally stable person in the world.  (Apparently he missed the day in school where they announced it was only a game).

The point is, Big Fan is a big waste of time.  It’s a middle of the road at best, mediocre flick that wants to be something that it is not.  It lacks heart, likable characters, solid direction and a decent script.  It really has nothing going for it, except for Patton Oswalt, whom I feel is miscast.  Don’t feel too bad if you skip this one.  It’s much more fun to just find your own real life big fan and point out to them that their childhood hero is now a Minnesota Viking and then slowly watch them self destruct.  (Not that I know from experience)

Final Grade:

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Filed under: Drama, Movies, Sports

Kick-Ass

  • Written by Jason
  • Posted April 19, 2010 at 11:49 am

A Review by The Mike

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Aaron Johnson, Clark Duke, Mark Strong
Directed by: Matthew Vaughn
Rated:R for strong brutal violence throughout, pervasive language, sexual content, nudity and some drug use – some involving children
Movie Released: 2010
IMDB Link

Over the past half-decade, March and April have become the go to months for studios to dump R-rated films full of brutal comic action – a trend that at least goes back to 2004 and Kill Bill Vol. 2. If you’re looking for graphic films from graphic sources, you then could look back to 2005’s release of Sin City, 2006’s V for Vendetta, 2007’s 300, and 2009’s Watchmen. The 2007 release of Rodriguez & Tarantino’s Grindhouse, while not a comic adaptation, fits this mold too, and one could work to trace the trend back to 1999 and the ground-breaking phenomenon that was The Matrix.
Now we’re deep into April 2010, and Marvel Comics’ newest sensation, Kick-Ass, is the next contender to step into the ring. While Kick-Ass has garnered a lot of shock and awe from people, mostly due to its name and the fact that it features young people committing violent acts, I’d argue that Kick-Ass is a relatively tame film next to most of this breed.

The plot of Kick-Ass is a simple send up of the superhero tales you’ve become used to over the past decade. A youngster with little supervision decides he wants to change things, puts on a costume, and hits the streets in search of justice. This self-proclaimed hero, Kick-Ass (played by Aaron Johnson), gets noticed by the local crime kingpin (Sherlock Holmes’ Mark Strong) via the media, which leads to further violence. This begins to make things difficult for previously established costumed avenger Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage) and his well-trained daughter Mindy, aka Hit-Girl.

Hit-Girl, played by then 12-year-old Chloe Grace Moretz, is the focal point of the film to both the fanboys and detractors that it has spawned, and understandably so. Moretz is asked to portray the kind of foul-mouthed and brutally violent young woman that hasn’t been seen since The Exorcist, and this time there’s no supernatural force at work that drives the character. Hit-Girl, at the behest of her dear old wrongly-convicted parolee daddy, simply offers up brutality because she is trained to. It could be a scary character, if the movie weren’t so clearly a comic adventure designed for the masses.

As for the on-screen violence, Director Matthew Vaughn appears to go to lengths to avoid directly showing Hit-Girl dealing out justice most of the time. Scenes involving her are often filmed in a frantic manner Vaughn surely honed while working with Guy Ritchie in his early career, and he often resorts to a dark shot or knives flying from off screen to convey her effect. I’m sure a lot of this had to do with pleasing the MPAA, but I’d also assume that it’s partially to save the strain on Ms. Moretz, who appears to show no emotional scarring due to the character’s violence in her recent media tour.

Hit-Girl and Big Daddy are the most interesting parts of the film, by far. Cage gives a perfectly silly performance as the affection father/Adam West-impersonator, and the casting of someone who has such an interest in comic heroes adds credibility to the proceedings. On the other hand, Johnson isn’t an extremely talented actor in the lead and Strong and Superbad’s Christopher Mintz-Plasse (as the villain’s son) seem to have been asked to fit the roles they’ve been typecast into over recent years. None of the other supporting characters are given any depth aside from some “The father is distant!”, “The girl is sexual!”, or “The teacher has boobs!” moments that define them.

Kick-Ass is a blast while it’s on-screen, but it seems to teeter too closely to becoming the average comic film for my taste. There’s little in plot or style that distinguishes it from the comic films that have filled the last decade, aside from the characters’ ages. Most of this comes from the character Kick-Ass, who’s little more than a kid who wants to fight back against something, but is never really developed enough for the viewer to care about him completely.

This might be a case of me having seen too many ridiculous and violent movies and being a bit desensitized, but Kick-Ass rarely struck me as something that was firing on all cylinders when anyone but Moretz and/or Cage were onscreen. The film works, thanks to them and the indifference to comic violence that Vaughn installs in it, but is definitely a flawed piece of comic cinema with a few dud characters and no deeper meaning beneath the surface. I might have expected something more socially relevant than what I got, but that shouldn’t deter anyone from seeing Kick-Ass if they’re looking for a violent distraction with a couple of standout performances.

______

This review was written by long time staff member, The Mike. Mike is an avid Movie addict and horror film buff. He writes reviews on his own blog, From Midnight, With Love, a site where he delves head first into the best and worst of cult cinema. This review was taken with permission from The Mike and placed on Box Office Boredom.com. You can check out The Mike’s solo project, From Midnight, With Love, by clicking here.

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Filed under: Action, Comic Book, Cult, Movies

Surrogates

  • Written by Jason
  • Posted at 11:41 am

A Review by Jason L. King

Starring: Bruce Willis, James Cromwell, Radha Mitchell
Directed by: Johnathan Mostow
Rated: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence, disturbing images, language, sexuality and a drug-related scene
Movie Released: 2009
IMDB Link

I was promised a flying car years ago from scientists.  Back to the Future has told me that in less than a few more years we will be zooming around town on hovering skateboards and the Chicago Cubs will actually win the World Series.  But perhaps the single greatest theme in sci fi cinema is the inevitable rise of the machines.  After all, what futuristic movie doesn’t have machines taking over the world?   If you believe what you see in the movies, it will be almost inevitable that android robots will be wandering around the world, blending in with humans.    Luckily, there hasn’t been an “Iphone app” that transforms your phone into a functioning cylon robot just yet (don’t say I didn’t warn you), but that doesn’t stop Hollywood from cranking out these futuristic tales of robot paranoia to the masses.

Surrogates happens to be one of these paranoia robot tales.  Set in the future, robots called surrogates are used to interact with the world on a day to day basis.  You can program your surrogate to look exactly like you (at a younger age), or you could decide to become a completely different person.    As your surrogate travels around town, you sit safely in your chair, controlling the movements and interactions for the surrogate.    At first glance, surrogacy doesn’t seem like a all out terrible idea, after all your surrogate is nearly indestructible.  But when someone murders a surrogate using a weapon that kills it’s operator as well, it is up to a police detective to stop this killer before he kills every one of the millions of surrogate users around the world.

I stared at the screen for the 89 minutes that Surrogates ran for and left the movie with a few more questions than I had answers.  My biggest question was, why surrogates?  I guess the big selling point of surrogacy was that you could “be” whomever you wanted to be in the outside world.  If you wanted to become a 80 year old African American woman, all you had to do was switch robot surrogates.  I gathered the other benefit of surrogacy was that you couldn’t be killed as a surrogate.  Say for example, you decided to have your surrogate walk out into oncoming traffic and it was hit by a car going 80 MPH.  Your surrogate would be a heap of mangled metal, but your human self would be sitting safely at home unharmed.   My point is, the whole idea of people using surrogates is fine, but I don’t really understand what the big appeal of them are.  The film never really gives you a good answer for it  as the plot plods ahead full speed.

Bruce Willis phones this sci fi action flick in as he wanders around from scene to scene delivering the mediocre dialogue that goes with this mediocre script.  I know for a fact that Willis has a much better range than this and can be a better actor.   However, Surrogates seems like it is Willis collecting a paycheck rather than doing anything long lasting and meaningful.  Alongside Willis are performances by James Cromwell (someone most people call “that guy”) and Ving Rhames as the crazy Rastafarian anti surrogate leader known as “The Prophet.”  Again, neither of these actors bring anything exciting to this bland storyline.

I really can’t blame the actors.  The script is a terrible, plot hole ridden waste of paper that inevitably became a waste of celluloid.  Director Jonathan Mastow’s work looks and feels much like Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, which coincidentally happens to be the last theatrical film he directed.  However, this sans-Schwartzenegger flick is low on action, and high on incomprehensible techno-garble.  Mastow does little to bring these characters to life, or to really make them people you want to care about.  In fact, the only thing that keeps you going is wondering who is behind the surrogate/operator murders, which is only partially resolved by the film’s ending.

When it is truly all said and done, I didn’t hate Surrogates.  I just really didn’t like it either.  It brought nothing new to the table.  It didn’t do anything spectacular, amazing or anything of the sort.  It was simply just a film that was there.  While Surrogates isn’t an extremely terrible film, I really can’t recommend it either.  After all, there are plenty of “robot” futuristic paranoia flicks out there that are so much better than Surrogates.  Why waste your time on this flick, when you could be doing something more productive?

Final Grade:

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Filed under: Action, Science Fiction

Win Free Stuff with our Kick-Ass Caption Contest

  • Written by Jason
  • Posted April 15, 2010 at 11:33 am

How would you like to win FREE stuff?  That’s right FREE stuff.  Now that I have your attention, let’s explain the rules.  Posted below is a still from the upcoming movie, Kick Ass.  We want you to put a clever caption on it.    Offer up your suggestion for a clever caption on this posts comments.  You may enter as many times as you would like.

The contest runs until 11:59 pm on April 25th, 2010.  After that, we will choose a winner.  Winner receives a copy of  Kick-Ass: Creating the Comic, Making the Movie delivered to their door step.

Best of luck to all, and we look forward to seeing your Kick-Ass captions….

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Filed under: Articles
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