A Review by Jason L. King
Starring: Maurice Chevalier, Dean Jones
Directed by: Andrew V. McLaglen
Movie Released: 1967
I recently suffered a very painful migraine headache that sent me straight to the emergency room for a few hours. After 2 hours and four doses of migraine medicines injected into various muscles of my body, they sent me home to finish sweating out the migraine. Upon arriving at home I stared blankly at the wall and waited for the pain to disappear. After the pain finally subsided, I decided to follow the doctors orders and stay in bed and rest. With my trusty pile of DVD’s all the way downstairs, I felt the journey was too far to travel. Instead, I grabbed the remote and began flipping through channels. It’s amazing that with 100 channels, you can still say there is nothing on. Alas, I finally just chose a channel based on the title of the movie alone: Monkeys Go Home. Well, that fateful decision led me on the bizarre 2 hour long adventure with the Hallmark Channel that I am about to share with you.
One might first ask, why did I even begin to watch a movie called Monkeys Go Home? The answer is simple. Monkeys- Who doesn’t like monkeys? Every guy in the world wants a pet monkey, but as Dane Cook once said we are all just a little too embarrassed to admit it. The second reason was the Dish Network description of the movie: “An American shocks a foreign priest and upsets a town when he trains monkeys to pick olives.” The plot sounded so silly, I had to see for myself. Well, 2 hours into the film, I realized that one sentence pretty much describes Monkeys Go Home.
The film was a Walt Disney original from 1967 chronicling the tale of an American who inherited a French olive farm. The man quickly decides to teach his 4 former NASA monkeys to pick the olives to avoid hiring labor. This causes an uproar in town, as a group of locals begin to convince the towns people that the American is giving away hard working french jobs to primates.
From start to finish this film was next to painful, but I stayed in it just to see it through to the end. Very few times in my life do I turn off a flick. It has got to be really bad for me to walk away after investing any time in it. So, I stuck it out watching Monkeys Go Home. The movie had every terrible element you could think of, bad acting by mediocre actors, a horrible plot, screen play and even a horrible set. The set seemed stolen off a bad, low budget TV show or even worse the set of the worst high school play you could think of.
Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t expecting “The Godfather” but I was hoping for something here that made it memorable. But I can’t think of anything of the sort. If the movie has anything going for it, it would be 4 chimps that steal the screen by acting like normal monkeys wearing human clothes. The chimps also take part in a “humans are treating monkeys unfairly” protest complete with a small picket line. These elements both get old after 5 minutes. The rest of the film peddles the ridiculous plot line that few will care about.
The end result, is Monkeys Go Home is a family film that did not age like a fine wine. However, it may have always been nothing more than bad grape juice since its conception in 1967. Point is let the monkeys go home with out you. Skip this one for sure.