Wrong Turn

A Film Review By Jason L. King, The Mike and Natasha Mooney

Rating:Rated R for violence, Gore,language and some drug use.
Starring: Desmond Harrington, Eliza Dushku
Directed By:Rob Schmidt

A late night at Varsity led up to Jason, The Mike and Backstage Banter’s Nattie all viewing WRONG TURN. What was the final verdict? Well here’s our thoughts starting off with our Very own….Nattie!

Nattie’s Review

This is my first and last review. I’m glad I get to review such a “great” film as Wrong Turn. I’m not going to list the stars or the plot, I’m sure one of the other guys reviewing this film will do that. Besides I really have no idea what I doing. I’ll just tear it apart like I do everything in my column.

Wrong Turn is the story of six young people who are being hunted by inbred cannibalistic mountain men. I would have to say this is the best inbred cannibalistic mountain men movie I have ever seen, even though it’s the only inbred cannibalistic mountain men movie I have ever seen. Wrong Turn is just that — wrong. In fact they could have left the Turn off the title and just called the movie Wrong.

The film had everything a stereotypical horror movie should have. There were stupid chicks running around in the woods in tank tops, over protective stupid men and of course the inbred cannibalistic mountain men. The movie was too predictable to be scary. Within the first fifteen minutes the audience is able to predict what is going to take place in the entire film as well as who is going to survive. In fact the movie was so predictable that I only jumped once during the entire film.

I know Wrong Turn is supposed to be a horror film, but I found it to be more of a comedy. I laughed to at least 85% of the movie and was scared for about .5% the rest of the time I was dozing off. Although the actors tunneled like ferrets into the souls of inbred cannibalistic mountain men, I couldn’t take them seriously. Just seeing the inbred cannibalistic mountain men made me laugh and when they started doing their inbred cackle I lost all fear and respect for them. There were more like clowns to me than scary cannibals.

The only thing that kept me interested in the film was the hot guy from Ghost Ship. I was kind of disappointed in him because he went from making a good movie like Ghost Ship to making a horrible movie like Wrong Turn. I was also disappointed because at no point in the movie did his shirt get torn off. Oh well, maybe next time.

Overall the film was okay, from a comedy point of view. But, from a horror movie point of view it was HORRIBLE. Do not go into this movie expecting to be scared. If you truly want to be scared by inbred cannibalistic mountain men may I suggest a trip to the Boone/Madrid area. I’ve been there, I’ve dated a guy from there and they are much scarier than the inbred cannibalistic mountain men in the movie are. More realistic too. Bottom line not even Ben Affleck could have saved this movie.

Nattie’s Final Grade: D+

Jason’s Review:

I don’t really think I can even share the same amount of enthusiasm as Nattie did when it comes to Wrong Turn. After recently watching House of 1000 Corpses and thinking no one could make a worse horror flick than Rob Zombie, Wrong Turn proved me wrong.

As Nattie so nicely stated multiple times “the inbred cannibalistic mountain men” that were killing off the young teenage travelers seemed like more of a joke than they were an actual scare. Their disfigurements looked atrociously fake, and the idea that their inbred redneck DNA could make them stronger than any known human being made me laugh even more. The cannibals looked more like a cross of the reject orcs from Lord Of The Rings, mixed with something from Tales From The Crypt, with a hint of The Mike’s good looks as well. One of the 3 actually resembled a cross between Gollum from LOTR’s and my Boss….Kind of creepy.

I think I was supposed to feel sorry for the characters in the flick, but in all honesty 3 of them we never had a chance to connect with them before they were dead, the other 3 acted as though they didn’t have a brain in their heads anyway, making me wish the cannibals would just eat them sooner.

The gore count was at a moderate level, and the shock value was at a zero. I only cringed, (but continued to laugh) as they tried to convince you the cannibals were sawing someone in two with a hacksaw. It was just too cheesy to believe.

nothing in the acting department was worth noting, but then again they were not given anything to work with. It’s pretty simple to run around like an idiot and never engage your brain. I do that every day at work. Desmond Harrington (Ghost Ship) proved to be decent but still looked like a fool because of the style of the film. Eliza Dushku was just the innocent virgin girl, whose only role was to be the only feminine flesh the cannibals just couldn’t kill off. (It’s odd that they killed off every other character before dragging them off, but they kept her alive so Harrington could come rescue her).

In the End, Wrong Turn had all the components of a horror flick, but the film reeked of mediocrity and all around stupidity. It’s nothing you haven’t seen done better before, and it’s a flick I had barely heard anything about up until it appeared at the Varsity doorstep. Somehow I wish I had just kept myself in the world of the clueless when it comes to Inbred Cannibalistic Mountain Men…because watching this flick was a “Wrong Turn” on my part…

Jason’s Final Grade: D-

The Mikes Review:

W ro ng Tur n was a bad film. Very bad. There’s no way I can defend this film to the cinematic community as a whole. However, for those like myself that beg and plead for horror films that actually deliver scares instead of jumps, Wrong Turn is one of the better attempts in years. Unfortunately, the bar for horror films has been set so low lately that that’s not a big compliment.

Horror films have certain rules. You heard a light version of them in the Scream films, which most horror fanatics will agree are not a good example of horror. What most horror fanatics want is either a truly horrifying situation involving some sort of supernatural beings (i.e. – ghosts, werewolves, vampires, demons, etc.) or one or more psychotic and unkillable killers on the prowl for (mostly) innocent victims. The latter type, known as the slasher film, has become extremely prevalent since Friday the 13th exploited the popularity of Halloween and started the 80’s train of bad slasher flick series’ running. To the addicted slasher fan, Wrong Turn will deliver some pleasure. There are some good looking kill scenes, attractive characters that fit the defined horror roles perfectly, and villains that are definitely psychotic and a little creepy. The wooded settings will also please the fans of camp slasher flicks like Friday the 13th, with the situation again fitting the defined guidelines.

The shortcoming that I expect will stall the interest of most of these fans is that Wrong Turn offers nothing new to them. We’ve seen this before, in the myriad of Friday the 13th films, or in films like The Hills Have Eyes. There’s even a touch of the classic Deliverance thrown in for good measure. It’s the first solidly made slasher film in a while, but it’s only solid in its formula. The details are left untouched, and the film comes off as a rehash of previous slashers.

The problem that’s arisen from modern horror films is the overuse of cheap shocks and the underuse of purely frightening tactics. Audiences have become accustomed to attributing the term “scary” to films with people jumping out of closets at random moments, instead of looking at the character and their situation. Wrong Turn tries valiantly to break this mold, with villains that are real enough to be somewhat frightening. The cheap shocks are kept to a minimum, although there are a couple good jump moments. There are also some disturbing and unsettling moments. I can’t say this is an entirely scary film, but can’t entirely discard its scare value either. It’s simply a ho-hum and average result.

In the end, Wrong Turn is a film that will not only be ignored and discarded by the general filmgoer, but will probably also be disappointing to its genre’s targeted fans. If you’re a horror buff, you could do worse, especially when looking at recent horror efforts (Ghost Ship or Darkness Falls anyone?). But you could also do a lot better, and you don’t need to waste more than one viewing on Wrong Turn.

The Mike’s Grade for the Average Moviegoer: F
The Mike’s Grade for the Horror Buff: C

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