Archive for January, 2004

The Big Bounce

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted January 30, 2004 at 11:40 pm

A Film Review By The Mike

Rating:PG-13 for some language and brief nudity 
Starring: Owen Wilson, Morgan Freeman, Sara Foster 
Directed By: George Armitage 

Final Grade: 

Have you ever had someone you really enjoy listening to tell you a story that is so uncharacteristic of them that you have to wonder what they’re thinking? That’s the feeling I had all throughout The Big Bounce, a film with so much potential and so little payoff.

The Big Bounce, directed by George Armitage (Grosse Pointe Blank), stars Owen Wilson as a down on his luck petty criminal who’s made his way to Hawaii for a fresh start. In the opening scene of the film (which is brilliantly scripted and funny, and gives false hope to the viewer) we see the beginning of the end of this fresh start, as he’s arrested for assaulting his boss in self-defense. While in custody he meets the district judge (Morgan Freeman) who befriends him and gives him another chance.

Soon after this, he meets Nancy (newcomer Sara Foster), a blonde bombshell with a taste for crime. She seduces him and offers him a chance to help her walk away from his evil boss’s home with $200,000. It’s a simple noir plot, but it lacks any of the style a story like this needs to work.

Instead, the film is played lightheartedly, and almost as a comedy, a decision I’m sure wasn’t the intention of the story’s original author, Elmore Leonard. Granted, movies based off Leonard’s (Get Shorty, Out of Sight, Jackie Brown) work have always had some comic aspects, but have also delivered the goods in plot and suspense. Here, we get none of that. The story is told rather disjointedly by screenwriter Sebastian Gutierrez (who was also responsible for the abysmal Gothika), and I got the feeling that a much longer movie would have been much more sufficient for the telling of Leonard’s story. Instead we get an 89-minute flick which jumps around from place to place with no real constant flow, becoming simply an interconnected set of scenes.

The acting in the film is for the most part, decent at best. Foster is given way too much of a load to handle, but does her job surprisingly well at times. With time, I could see her making a splash as a supporting actress in the realm of blockbusters, but never as much more than eye candy. The big names in the supporting cast (Gary Sinise, Charlie Sheen, Willie Nelson, Bebe Neuwirth, and Vinnie Jones) each get very little screentime, with only Neuwirth and Jones getting a couple of good moments in. Luckily for The Big Bounce, it has its star, Owen Wilson.

Wilson almost single-handedly saves this film. He’s funny and charming, even when delivering some truly horrible dialogue. There are two scenes in the film I really enjoyed, and both were enjoyable simply because of his approach. I didn’t see him as a stand-alone Hollywood star before this film, but now I do, and hope to see a lot more headlining from him in the future.

In the end, The Big Bounce is a poor attempt at telling a good story, that’s only made watchable by a star that gives everything he’s got. I commend Mr. Wilson, and hope that the failure that is this film doesn’t doom Armitage, a very talented director. But their efforts are not enough, and The Big Bounce doesn’t live up to its title. The Big Crash might have been more appropriate.

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Filed under: Comedy, Movies

Monster

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted at 5:50 pm

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Rating: Rated R for violence, sexual content, language and brief drug use
Starring:Charlize Theron, Christina Ricci
Directed By:Patty Jenkins

Final Grade:
<

All you need is love. Life works in unexpected ways. Big gifts come in small packages. All of those phrases have been handed down from parent to kid generation after generation and no one ever questions if they mean anything. But in the movie Monster, they do just that.

Aileen (Charlize Theron) is a woman who has lived the toughest of all lives. Growing up she hoped that her fairy tale life would come true, and that someone would find her beautiful. But she quickly learned that life doesn’t work out that way, and finds herself living a life of depression and homelessness. In order to survive she becomes a hooker, making a few bucks here and there. Just when her life comes crashing down around her, Aileen meets Selby, a young lesbian girl who gives Aileen hope for a second chance. Bound and determined to straighten her life out Aileen tries to make a relationship work with Selby while trying to sort out her life. However, What Aileen finds out is that once you start doing something it’s hard to stop.

Now normally a movie with Charlize Theron would mean a review written by the mike, but I snatched it up first. In all honesty, I don’t think Mike could really talk about his love for Charlize and how beautiful she is after seeing this film. Charlize gained about 30 pounds for this film, and actually looked homeless and trashy throughout the entire film. In fact many a times, I wondered how people could actually pay to sleep with her character and feel like they had made a “good” investment. In no time at all you forget you are watching a movie, and are sucked in by Theron’s character. You actually forget that you are watching a movie with actresses playing the main characters rather than a documentary on poverty and despair. Rumors have it that Charlize is being considered for Oscars for Best Actress, and after watching this movie, it’s not hard to figure out why. Her performance is brilliant, nicely done, and emotion packed.

Her Co-star Christina Ricci gives it her all as well, but once more many will hail this as Ricci’s “Breakout” film, but will probably do nothing for her. Ricci is almost trying to hard at parts, and her character, which is a reflection of a naïve young lesbian, is almost annoying in segments. However none the less, you start to feel for her character as well as the story unfolds.

But when it comes down to it, Monster is a decent flick. The acting is what makes it a great movie, not the feel good plot or story line. In fact the end of the movie is far from a “feel-good” ending at all. The film starts on a down note and really doesn’t let up the entire way through. Writer and Director Patty Jenkins does a nice job of bringing this downtrodden story to life, and what makes the story even more riveting is that fact that It is a “true” story.

While I can’t really say Monster is anything I would want to watch again, it is a film that deserves the attention that it is getting. Charlize for an Oscar? She definitely deserves the consideration. Her performance alone is worth your ticket price if you are up for a movie that by no means has a Happy GO lucky Walt Disney ending.

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Filed under: Drama, Movies

Chasing Liberty

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted January 19, 2004 at 12:07 am

A Film Review By The Mike

Rating:PG-13 for brief Nudity/Butt-doubles
Starring: Mandy Moore, Matthew Goode, Jeremy Piven
Directed By: Andy Cadiff

Final Grade:

It’s become increasingly obvious the romantic comedies starring anyone under 25 need not have a worthwhile script or competent direction to make money. The girls of America flock to them regardless of quality. So when I saw that Chasing Liberty, the latest from that cute little Mandy Moore, was a big box office loser, I had to scratch my head. After seeing the film, I understand why, and have hope that not all of America is doomed.

OK, that was harsh. But films like this have to be stopped. Chasing Liberty is a good idea for a rom com, which should be a movie. But studios need to realize that they can’t expect to get away with making a movie dirt-cheap when they won’t spend on a writer or director that knows what they’re doing. I’m not asking for perfection. Not every romance film has to be Casablanca or The Princess Bride. But an effort should be put forth.

I suppose I should talk about the movie. Chasing Liberty stars Mandy Moore, and extremely attractive and mildly talented actress. She’s going to be a star, and unlike the likes of Britney Spears, probably deserves to be one. Combine her with a decent young actor to make the young ladies drool, and you should be able to make a film that works.

But, as I’ve harped on before, the effort just isn’t there. The producers of Chasing Liberty knew that people would pay to see pretty people in pretty places, regardless of quality. Therefore they hired the worst director possible, who appears to have less talent than those making commercials for local businesses, along with purchasing a wordy and overexplanatory script that lacks enough humor. They even went cheap in the music department, going with one of the worst musical scores I’ve ever heard.

Like I said though, these things don’t really matter. The film boasts beautiful settings, beautiful people, and the uncanny comedy of Jeremy Piven, who almost saves the film from its perils single-handedly. If one looks at the film as a young girl would, they’ll probably enjoy it. If one acts like a brain-carrying human, they won’t.

I sound like I hate this movie, but I don’t. I just want something more, and don’t see why most people don’t feel the same. Mandy Moore could be a wonderful romantic star with the right script and costar. But this isn’t her time yet.

P.S. – The film’s grade has been raised two notches due to the involvement of Miss Holly Dunlay, the 23rd extra in Scene 48. She’s cool.

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Filed under: Drama, Movies

Along Came Polly

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted January 16, 2004 at 11:24 pm

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Rating:Rated PG-13 for sexual content, language, crude humor and some drug references 
Starring:Jennifer Aniston, Ben Stiller, Phillip Seymour Hoffman 
Directed By:John Hamburg 

Final Grade: 

I’ve seen lot films. So after a while it isn’t hard to pick out bad acting, bad directing, and just plain old bad ideas. But then, I am a film nerd. Now I know that everyone has their bad days, and I should know I have made my share of mistakes. But the mistakes I have made have never amounted to something as atrocious as Along Came Polly.

In Along Came Polly our main character, Ruben tries to walk the straight and narrow. He doesn’t take risks, and never strays far from the path in front of him. He chooses what he thinks is a safe bet, by marrying a beautiful young woman, who ends up having an affair shortly after their marriage. In an attempt to do something out of the normal, he decides to ask his high school crush, Polly Prince out on a date with him. Polly accepts, but is the most unordinary person in the world and turns Ruben’s life upside down.

The problem with this film is unfortunately the story brings nothing new to the table. We have seen Stiller act like and idiot before, and this is no exception. Ruben is simply an extension of his character he played in Meet the Parents a few years back. I felt as though I was rehashing an old plot line, but having a lot less fun doing it. It’s kind of like watching Analyze That and wishing for Analyze This, or watching Turbulence 3 and wanting to watch the original Turbulence instead. As for Polly (Jennifer Aniston) she is a fun character, but I frankly didn’t care for her. The only really funny parts are when the talented Phillip Seymour Hoffman is on the screen. He steals the screen when he is in a scene.

The major problem with this film is that it suffers from what I call “Martin Lawrence Syndrome.” For those of you not familiar with that syndrome, it is the syndrome where all the funny parts and the entire plot of a film are in your preview. This syndrome was named after Martin Lawrence, because if you watch any preview for a movie he is in, you have seen the “good” parts of the Entire film. Along Came Polly doesn’t star Martin Lawrence, but it does suffer from his syndrome. If it was funny it was in the trailer. The few laughs that are in the film that didn’t make the preview don’t justify the ticket price to check it out.

In the End, Along Came the month of January, and Along Came Polly with it. Hopefully just like a January Snowstorm Along Came Polly won’t stick around and we will have springtime filled with blue skies and much better movies. 

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Filed under: Comedy, Movies

Torque

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted at 6:38 am

A Film Review By The Mike

Rating:RATED PG-13 for PG-13ness
Starring: Martin Henderson, Ice Cube, Monet Mazur
Directed By: Joseph Kahn

Final Grade:

Hey folks! In honor of the one-year anniversary of Biker Boyz, I bring you my review of Torque…IN POETIC VERSE!!!!!!! You may start cringing….now.

It’s a new action movie and it calls itself Torque,
And it tries to hit as hard as Hockey star Ray Borque.
It’s for angry young men who like to eat beef and pork,
and who never listen to that strange Eskimo Bjork.

Torque’s all about bikes and they who ride hogs,
Most of whom apparently kill others to feed to dogs.
You may think I’m kidding, but you wouldn’t be right,
Ice Cube’s dog Dojo must have quite a bite.

It stars that weird guy from the movie The Ring,
Who never has been, nor will be, a “big thing”.
As I said before, it has also that wacky Ice Cube,
And gallons of oil that are needed for lube.

In engines, I mean, because the bikes must look great,
Untill they crash hard, like me learning to ice skate.
It might be bad luck, or it might be their fate,
But most of these bikes will never again “figure eight”.

But what of this film, is it good or quite bad?
And can it compare to that 80’s flick Rad?
In honesty, only one answer is had,
Let’s hope biker movies are only a fad!

But, to be fair, Torque’s not a piece of trash,
I expected it would make my so angry I’d thrash.
It’s still not good, and suffers from being too brash,
I hope those bikers didn’t end up with a wicked rash.

I didn’t use “crash” in that last stanza,
But I did use stanza to rhyme with Tony Danza.
I’m getting off-topic, Torque’s made pretty well,
It just has a screenplay from screenwriting hell.

It’s got cool stuff, like explosions and action,
Those bikes must have had tires with extra good traction.
Henderson is OK; Monet Mazur was a pleasant surprise,
She looked like a typical blond, who’s not hard on the eyes.

But in fact she did her job, really quite nice,
Though less as an actress than a sinful vice.
But sometimes the flick’s not so nice to look at.
Like the final chase scene, which is very un-phat.

It delves into the realm of crappy CGI,
Which has become more American than Mom’s apple pie.
In the end it’s not good, nor really that bad,
And I’ll never recommend it, not even to Dad.

Most will say that Torque is not worth their spit,
And most of that most won’t even see it.
That’s probably what would be in the best,
Leave Torque to hardcore fans, and give them a rest.

So in the end, I’ll say this about Torque,
It doesn’t hit hard as the man named Ray Borque.
It may not be meaty as slabs of beef or pork,
But it’s more entertaining than that Eskimo Bjork!

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Filed under: Drama, Movies, Torque-tastic
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