The Cat in The Hat

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Rating: Rated PG for mild crude humor and some double-entendres
Starring: Mike Meyers,Dakota Fanning
Directed By:Bo Welch

Final Grade:

For our Review this week, Jason thought it would be much more fun to bring you his thoughts on the Mike Meyers movie adaptation of Dr. Seuss’s “The Cat in the Hat” in rhyme….I aplogize in advance for the really bad rhymes!

One Fish two fish Red fish or Blue…
Here is my very special Review for you.

Mike Meyers New Movie Makes him the cat in the hat,
But my review does not end at just that.
It has Dakota Fanning; the little Girl from I am Sam,
Who annoys me more than Green Eggs and Ham.

The story is boring but will make a lot of cash,
It’s the story of the grinch again rehashed.
There is nothing exciting about this show,
I heard a little boy to his mom say “Let’s Go.”

To be honest out of this movie I can only see one thing,
The executives thinking of how much money this movie will bring,
By selling its image once or twice,
On every sort of Merchandise…

All the Whos down in Whoville may like the cat in the hat a lot,
but Jason the Critic, who lived in West Ames did not.
Jason hated The Cat in the Hat – it’s one of the worst he has seen this season.
Oh, please don’t ask why; even though he can give you more than one reason.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
Or maybe his head wasn’t screwed on just right.
But I think that the best reason of all is that he has been told that his heart was two sizes too small….

Now everyone says that as a critic I am a grinch at heart,
But with this movie I don’t know where to start.
I did not like it here or there,
I did not like it anywhere.

After it was over I went back to the Box,
And talked to the ticket girl who was a real fox…(for the wee ones, that means she was cute)
I politely handed her my stub,
And asked her for a full refund.

She only looked at me and laughed,
And said that’s what you get for watching that.
But spread the word to all to hear,
The Cat in the Hat is not the movie of the year!

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