House of the Dead

A Film Review By The Mike

Rating:RATED R for Tits, Violence, Gore, and Horror-y Stuff 
Starring: Jurgen Prochnow, Clint Howard, Ellie Cornell 
Directed By: Uwe Boll 

Final Grade: 

Based on the best-selling video game (at least that’s what the poster says, I’d never even heard of it) comes House of the Dead. It’s a zombie film, and I love zombie films. Does this mean I loved House of the Dead? No.

House of the Dead is the story of a bunch of dumb college age kids who go to a party on an island, which gets broken up by flesh-eating zombies. The few that get there late have to fight off the zombies in poorly directed “bullet-time” fashion. These fights are filled with poorly done references to the game, including splices of the game itself in the midst of the film.

House of the Dead isn’t as poor of a film as many critics would have you believe. The zombies look pretty good, except for their leader that was explained in a crappy backstory. The acting is awful, but that’s to be expected. The problem is that the film is really poorly directed, bad enough that I hope to never see the words “Directed by Uwe Boll” again.

The saddest part of watching House of the Dead is knowing that it wouldn’t have taken much more effort to make this film actually good. A little better action and direction and you’d have a fun and gory time. Unfortunately, the filmmakers just wanted to try and make a quick buck, something that House of the Dead probably won’t do anyway.

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