Archive for October, 2003

In The Cut

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted October 31, 2003 at 12:42 am

A Film Review By The Mike

Rating:R for lots of unnecessary blood and repulsive nudity
Starring: Meg Ryan, Mark Ruffalo, Kevin Bacon
Directed By: Jane Campion

Final Grade:

It’s hard to figure out the movie that is known as In the Cut. The film itself isn’t so hard to figure out, but the fact that the people who made it actually made it in this fashion is.

Director Jane Campion knows how to make a movie about desire. Her 1994 film, The Piano, is the perfect example of this type of film. So why can’t she even make it work again, if only to a level of decency. Maybe she just couldn’t translate to the modern setting, or maybe she was working from a worthless script, I don’t know. But I know that any audience in America would be bored out of their mind by this emotionless and dry film.

The film is a story about the relationship between Frannie Walsh (Meg Ryan), a middle-aged and lonely English teacher and Giovanni Malloy (Mark Ruffalo), a homicide detective in his early 30’s. It’s also about a slew of murders that seem to be somehow related to Fran and that Malloy can’t seem to crack. It’s also about sex.

The latter is what the film focuses on for most of its runtime. You see, Fran likes sex, and doesn’t appear to be the type of character that refrains from it, even when approached by a schizophrenic and dirty Kevin Bacon. Malloy also happens to be a “sexual being”. The film makes these points very obvious, trying to create a thriller that’ll play like Basic Instinct. Unfortunately, their end result isn’t worthy of late night Cinemax.

Granted, In the Cut isn’t the worst film you’ll see. It’s decently acted and directed, and the plot does fit together rather loosely. It just doesn’t have any entertainment value and or heart. Further proof that bad independent cinema is much worse than almost any bad flick to come out of Hollywood.

The most confusing thing about In the Cut is the title. After sitting through the film’s two hours, and then wondering about it for sometime, I realized that In the Cut must be symbolic of the film. Because In the Cut is like a small particle of dirt. It’s meaningless and inconsequential, and can easily be brushed away. But if you let that speck of dirt get to you, like getting it trapped in a cut on you finger, you’ll be annoyed by it for days. Soon it will be forgotten and once again useless. But for a while, it’ll just bug you and make you mad.

In other words, avoid it.

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Filed under: Drama, Movies

Beyond Borders

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted October 24, 2003 at 11:40 pm

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Rating: Rated R for language and war-related violence 
Starring:Clive Owen, Angelina Jolie 
Directed By:Martin Campbell 

Final Grade: 
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A lot of times in life there are things out there that may seem like a good idea at first glance but once they are actually done they turn out to be not quite as expected. Many times in the world of film you stumble upon such things as well. By initial readings of plot lines, characters involved and scripts the film might seem as though it could prove to be a decent flick, but when the product hits the theaters it is actually much more hit and miss than it is anything else. And so is the story for the latest attempt by Angelina Jolie, Beyond Borders.

Angelina Jolie must have decided to use up the rest of her frequent flyer miles from her trips she made for the last Tomb Raider movie, and found herself in a movie where she travels to help poor unfortunate starving Ethiopians. During her quest to help the people from 3rd world countries she discovers a love interest with a man named Nick, played by Clive Owen. But she soon learns that sometimes the cost of helping people isn’t what she initially expected. She finds her love interest selling guns in order to fund his world relief program.

Someone else who saw this film told me this is the type of movie that Kevin Costner would give his left arm to star in. I find that kind of funny since Clive Owen was actually Kevin Costner’s replacement for the film when Jolie and Costner decided that they could not work together. It was then that Clive Owen got his chance to co-star with Jolie in the film, and proved that he is a force to be reckoned with in future years of American Cinema. Owen already has a strong following in Britain and if given the right roles it won’t be long until he is another household name. Owen already has been rumored to be the next James Bond, and if he indeed does become the sex charged super spy his rise to stardom may be much quicker than even he may have expected. But sadly enough this just wasn’t the script that is going to catapult him to super stardom.

Like I stated before it wasn’t the acting that made this film reeks of mediocrity but instead it’s just that the film has nothing of true excitement to offer. There is nothing really worth noting when it comes to directing style, nothing amazing cinematically either. It’s just a decently done average film.

Sadly enough this film will quickly find its way out of theaters, quickly hidden amongst the other films that are flooding the box offices. Soon enough Beyond Borders will be beyond theaters and beyond the memories of most of the audience that saw it, unless you are a die hard Angelina Jolie fan or a die hard Clive Owen fan. 

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Filed under: Drama, Movies

Scary Movie 3

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted at 2:22 am

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Rating: Rated PG-13 for pervasive crude and sexual humor, language, comic violence and drug references
Starring:Charlie Sheen, Anna Ferris, Pamela Anderson
Directed By:David Zucker

Final Grade:

A few years back I crept into Scary Movie, thinking that I was going to be in to see something just shy of comic genius. While the younger kids of my generation told me that it was going to be the greatest thing I there world, I went along with them and wasted my money. I was picked on and ridiculed for not liking the 3 hours of non stop sex and toilet humor jokes that had gone way too far in my mind. I wanted my $6 back. A few years after that I decided that maybe the sequel to scary movie might not be that bad. Boy was I wrong again. This time fewer things were spoofed and more things revolved around the main characters finding them selves in situations where they are surrounded by bad sex jokes, and people vomiting on each other. Needless to say I was more annoyed at a loss of time than I ever was before and vowed to never see another scary movie film again.

Well my vow was broken as Scary Movie 3 hit theaters just about a week ago. Although this one I thought had some potential. The Wayans brothers who had their hands in the first two took a vacation from this film and Hollywood rumors flew of Kevin Smith trying his hand at some of the writing. When the film was finally put together it was dropped in the hands of the Makes of Airplane! And told to bring the Scary Movie Franchise another hit after a lackluster second film.

The plot, well as in any Scary Movie film there is no plot. Plot is not the key. The key is to spoof and make fun of every potentially scary movie made in the last few years, as well as poke fun at pop culture of the time. If a plot did exist it has something to do with a broadcast journalist trying to find the truth behind a mysterious videotape that if you watch it you will die in seven days. Somehow they believe this is connected to the aliens that are leaving crop circles in a farmer and his young son’s (who wants to be a white rapper) field.

Amazingly to a certain degree this film worked far better than the first two. The first key to this one’s success was to cut it down to a PG-13 rating. Although the sexual innuendo is still there in every scene, it doesn’t try to rely on gross out humor to pull you along. The humor comes in quick burst of machine gun fire jokes, they hit and miss at times, but come at you so quickly and with such force it’s hard to not find yourself chuckling. It’s never full out sections of the film that make you laugh uncontrollably but instead little things like “the mysterious caller” looking for “the precious” or a rap battle that is reminiscent of 8-Mile. Plus if you were not a huge fan of the movie Signs, they make sure they take every opportunity to make fun of the supposed suspenseful M. Night Shyamalan Flick.

In the end though it’s hard for me to really stand up and cheer for this flick. While it does a lot of things better than it’s predecessors, it is still far from being cream of the crop. I think the best way for me to describe this film is that no matter how much you do to make a steaming pile of crap smell better, in the end it is still just that…a pile of crap no matter how nice it smells. Well my thoughts on Scary Movie 3 were about the same. Although it gave me a few good chuckles and an overall feeling that for once I didn’t want my time back after watching a film from the “Scary Movie” franchise, I still felt it reeked of overall mediocrity and in some ways just good taste.

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Filed under: Comedy, Movies

Radio

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted at 2:08 am

A Film Review By The Mike

Rating:RATED PG
Starring: Cuba Gooding, Jr.; Ed Harris
Directed By: Mike Tollin

Final Grade:

Radio brings us the story of James Robert Kennedy, a.k.a. Radio, a young man who’s “just a little slower than most.” Despite this slowness, we can no doubt be sure that, by films end, he will overcome great odds and bring great happiness and knowledge to all around him. There seems to be a film like this every year. Some hit and some miss.

Radio is a surefire hit. It stars Cuba Gooding, Jr. as the titular character, in a performance that’s as solid as one can be in this type of role. Admittedly, it’s far from amazing, but Gooding brings us a character that we’re going to remember, and that is a big enough accomplishment for me.

The real star of the film, however, is the always-wonderful Ed Harris. He plays Coach Jones, Radio’s mentor and friend, the one who’s really learning a life lesson. Harris brings the charisma that should have won him many Oscars already to the screen once again, and easily gives one of the year’s best performances.

Films like Radio get a bad reputation from those in the critical community, with many making up their minds on what the film is before even seeing it. Phrases like “Oscar Bait” come up often, and the filmmakers behind these types of films get called things like “hypocritical” or “naive”. I’m not sure why this stance towards emotion filled films has been adopted, but it’s prevalent none the less.

Sure, I could spend all night ripping into the flaws in Radio. I could tell you that it’s a film full of clichés, a regurgitation of standard materials, or an overdramatic soap opera. Many will even call it pretentious, failing to accept its intentions as sincere. But I don’t feel like doing that.

Radio is a warm and happy feel-good film, nothing more or less. Those that are more critical than I can go ahead and say whatever they want about Radio’s intentions. I will gladly say that I was proud to be watching Radio, and find the achievements of all involved to be worthy of nothing but praise. This is a rare film that was made with the best of intentions, and in my book that makes any flaws it does have inconsequential.

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Filed under: Drama, Movies, Sports

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted October 17, 2003 at 6:32 am

A Film Review By The Mike

Rating:RATED R for being horribly violent
Starring: Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, R. Lee Ermey
Directed By: Marcus Nispel

Final Grade:

(Sorry Masha…I have no choice but to swear in this review.)

It’s hard for me to name a time when I have been more disappointed in our society than while watching the new take on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Audiences flocked to this film upon its opening, it’s take at the box equaling over 29 Million dollars for the weekend. That’s a bigger opening than magnificent films like Kill Bill and School Of Rock recently have had. In fact, it’s the biggest opening since New Line Cinema’s last horror megahit, Freddy vs. Jason. I’m betting that most of the uneducated fools that entered the film left feeling they’d been privy to a “scary” movie, and didn’t mind it one bit.

Once again, a true sign that Joe Moviegoer doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. Anyone who’s seen the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre knows what this film should have been, but instead we get a wickedly diabolical film that seems to only be trying to show its audience people being tortured. All the elements of suspense and filmmaking style that existed in the first have been replaced by lewd acts of violence, brought to you in the ways of MTV. The filmmakers show no sympathy for their characters, no care for the art of storytelling, and no will to provide anything that’s remotely suspenseful in the film.

It almost feels like those behind this monstrosity had spent most of their time sitting around saying – “Ooh, I bet the audience will squirm if we show ‘em this!” People are sliced, stabbed, dismembered, disfigured, and destroyed with a total lack of substance in nearly every minute of this film. If you’ve read my reviews of other horror films, you know that I’m usually fine with violence and gore, and often applaud it. But there has to be a reason to care, and a reason to be scared besides simply the gruesome act that’s taking place. Does this film provide us that? Not once.

Almost worse than the overuse of violence is the fact that the element of surprise is overused to the extent of being telegraphed. When the jumps do come, anyone with a brain knows they’re coming five seconds before they do. It’s a perfect film for that annoying fratboy that sits behind you and screams every time the film wants him to, with his only goal being to get a rise out of the audience.

Yeah, I suppose the film looks good (But then again, what doesn’t these days?), and does what it wants to in terms of scaring the average cinema moron. But in the end, it’s just like that fratboy I mentioned in the last paragraph. A mean-spirited entity that only wishes to entertain itself by making people feel nauseous.

Do yourself a favor. Go rent the Tobe Hooper’s 1973 film of this name. It’s as scary as any film you’ll ever see. Then, if you like watching people get tortured, check out the new version, and see another example of how Hollywood has become nothing more than a bunch of money-hungry pigs who care nothing about producing a quality product. Or better yet, don’t. All that’ll do is give them an excuse to make a sequel.

P.S. – Where the hell was Leatherface’s trademark dance? One of the most memorable moments in horror cinema, and these punks decide to make a remake without it? Just another sign of how little these sons-of-bitches care.

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Filed under: Horror, Movies
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