Archive for April, 2003

Malibu’s Most Wanted

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted April 26, 2003 at 5:39 pm

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Rating:Rated PG-13 for sexual humor, language and violence.
Starring: Jamie Kennedy, Anthony Anderson, Taye Diggs
Directed By:John Whitesell

Final Grade:

A comedy is supposed to amuse you. Many times in order to do this, the audience needs to check their brain in at the door, and leave it with the theater usher. Now brainless an audience member can enjoy a completely pointless obnoxious film, and come out feeling refreshed. It’s only after they have retrieved their brains that the audience realizes that they really didn’t enjoy the film at all, but their money has already been lost, so they plan never to be hoaxed again. The sad story however, is that they are hoaxed again and again and again.

There is hope for this generation of brainless moviegoers though. Sometimes movies are so terrible that you don’t even need a brain to realize it. To name one of these movies, although there are many, let me introduce you to Malibu’s Most Wanted. Jamie Kennedy tries to pull off the role as a dimwitted white gangster wannabe, who thinks he is the biggest thug in Malibu. But being the son of candidate running for governor, His father’s campaign crew decides to “clean up” Jamie’s gangster act. They hire two black actors to pose as gangsters and “kidnap” him and hold him for ransom in South Central. In what they thought would scare the “whiteness” back in to him, instead only triggered more dimwitted actions and the spawn of Malibu’s Most Wanted.

Like I stated earlier, check your brain at the door for this one. There is no hope for your brain to make it out in tact otherwise. At no point did I find good reason to tell anyone to go see it. Jamie Kennedy proved to me that he is an idiot, and a worse actor than I had ever imagined. Taye Diggs and Anthony Anderson both make the movie almost entertaining, but their roles as the actors who kidnap Jamie, just don’t have enough to save an already sinking film.

Plot? Did I hear someone say plot? If there was a plot, I am not sure if it was even a good one. All I really saw was 2 hours of racist garbage. Every other word was Kennedy spouting off racist catch phrases like “schizel my nizzel” and “schiznitz.” His acting, his dress and everything that came out of his mouth was nothing more than slam after slam on black culture. And if Kennedy didn’t offend everyone, the stereotyped black man/woman should have picked up the slack. Apparently there isn’t a black man on earth that doesn’t carry a gun, wear black tank tops and have a passion for random senseless violence and criminal activity. And of course the black women are all about “sex” and nothing more. The film plain and simply strived to make the black culture look raunchy and worthless and made the white culture, although ignorant in the end the “better people.”

The film had its upbeats for a few brief seconds; there was a quick scene with a talking mouse that had the voice of Snoop Dogg, and a mockery of the “rap battle” from 8 Mile, but all in all those were easily forgotten in the midst of the overall stupidity.

Some people I know had a problem with “Bringing Down the House.” They said the Steve Martin flick was nothing more than racist crap. Sure it may have poked fun at the black culture, but in the end, it didn’t make the black culture look like 3rd rate trash. I wish I could say the same for Malibu’s Most Wanted. If Bringing Down the House is indeed “racist” then Malibu’s Most Wanted isn’t much more than comedic hate propaganda. The Tagline for the flick told me “Don’t Be Hatin” and believe me, I tried not to but in the end what was there not to hate? In a film this bad not only do you want your money and your time back but in the end you want to make sure that the makers of this film never work in the film industry again.

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Filed under: Comedy, Movies

The Real Cancun

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted April 25, 2003 at 2:09 am

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Rating:Rated R for drunken idiocy, language and brief nudity
Starring: Drunk kids who have sold their souls to the devil
Directed By:Rick de Oliveira

Final Grade:

The world is shocked by reality TV. Reality tv is the biggest craze now days, and everyone wants a piece of it. Well Hollywood took a shot at Reality Movies and the end result was The Real Cancun…

This flick doesn’t really have anything redeeming to it. It’s a reality TV show that has gone all wrong, with nothing positive to say about it. The story line is simple following a group of kids around on a spring break trip in Cancun, and the wild sex, alcohol and parties that follow. What a waste.

There is no plot, there is no acting, just idiocy. And for the guys who were expecting “girls gone wild” on the big screen, they will be let down. The amount on nudity is cut to near none, just to make sure that it matched the outstanding plot (also very near to none). In the end, if you want to see the “Ultimate Spring Break video” watch MTV. They show stuff like this all the time. This is the same thing only slightly longer. And since MTV plays shows like this back to back to back you’ll get your fill of these reality shows just by paying for the cable bill that you already pay for anyway.

The end verdict, Don’t Waste your time, Don’t waste your money and Don’t waste your life away in this flick. Supporting “reality movies” like this only means more and more flicks like this and the beginning of the apocalypse….

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Filed under: Documentary, Movies

Identity

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted at 12:40 am

A Film Review By Jason L. King and The Mike

Rating:Rated R for violence, Gore,language and some drug use. 
Starring: John Cusack, Amanda Peet 
Directed By: James Mangold 

Final Grades: 
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Jason’s Review:

The new thriller Identity will hit the big screen this weekend, but the big question (after what exactly is it) is if it is worth the ticket price?

Identity is the story of a group of people who end up trapped in a hotel one stormy night. The storm keeps them trapped there, because both ahead of them and behind them is nothing more than washed out road. But when the nightly tenants start dying it becomes a thrill ride until the very end. Who or what is killing everyone? Why are they doing it? Is there a connection?

In a nutshell that’s all I can really say about the flick without giving it away. The flick is entertaining for a thriller flick, gives you enough cheap horror pops, and all in all keeps you in suspense the entire way through. But in the end the answer is right in front of you the whole time. With some careful thought right during the opening credits, you can piece together what the story is really about right from the get go. And if you don’t pick it up right away, the symbolism and attributes of certain characters should be a dead give away to the killer. If they had tried any harder it they would have come right out and told you the answer. In the end, what I am trying to say is it is predictable even with the strange twist in it.

The acting on the other hand wasn’t what I expected. This flick suffered from what I called the “Ocean’s 11” complex, and the end result was a real downer. They had too many headlining stars and not enough depth to any of the characters. With the shared screen time and the battling “headliners” it made it hard to connect with any of the characters at all. The flick didn’t really give them a chance to show off their abilities, which is sad in a flick with the ever talented John Cusack and Ray Liotta. The idea of lots of big names worked in Oceans 11 and just kind of fizzled in this flick. The stars make the movie what it is, without the headliners the film would have dwindled into a huge pile of rubbish, but in the end the actors just didn’t make it up to par with their usual performance levels.

In the end though Identity keeps pace with the “thriller” genre that has been developed over the years. It does what it is supposed to do, which is entertain you. Sadly enough though it doesn’t really have any replay value. After once or twice the film has lost its thrills, and you are left with an overall mediocre flick. The Mike compared the film to “Session 9” another psychological thriller from a few years back. I’m going to agree with him on that one. Identity is the Hollywood fluff version of that little independent flick that no one knows of. Identity is average…It’s worth maybe a view once, but in the end don’t expect anything outstanding, the flick just has nothing of that caliber to offer…

Final Grade: C+

The Mikes Review:

Identity is a film that comes from a script that seems content to take every risk it can to start a new chapter in the slasher genre. It’s a script so twisted that it could have easily been written by Charlie (or Donald) Kaufman (instead we get Michael Cooney, whose previous works were the horrible Jack Frost films), and it’s a script that knows exactly what it wants to accomplish in the end. Is it a brilliant script? No, It’s a script that would be written for a direct to video horror film with a bad cast. But it’s close enough to good that all it needed was a little effort in casting and directing to make an entertaining film. Enter director James Mangold (Cop Land; Girl, Interrupted) and a perfect cast that includes two of the best actors of our time, John Cusack and Ray Liotta.

From the beginning, Identity established its setting and characters and had me hooked. 11 strangers are trapped in a motel in the middle of nowhere, and suddenly people start dying. One of them is a killer…we think. And that’s not the weirdest part. Meanwhile, we meet a psychiatrist (Alfred Molina, who will co-star as the villainous Doctor Octopus in the next Spider-Man film) who’s trying to get a killer off of death row. What do these two stories have in common? I can’t tell you that here!

Identity picks up right at the beginning, and never lets you down. The jumps from place to place and scene to scene keep moving at a brisk and entertaining pace throughout. Twists and deaths come in all shapes and forms, and usually catch us at the moment we least expect them. Mangold’s sets are perfect in every occasion, and the exterior shots in the rain and storm are perfectly surreal.

The cast is not as much of a strong point for this film as I expected it to be, but I always expect the world from Cusack and Liotta. Despite the slight personal let down, it’s still safe to say that the wonderful cast benefits the film greatly. Cusack is his wonderful self, despite not having the sharpest dialogue to use like he does in most of his comedies. Liotta is also good, though his performance left me craving a viewing of his wonderful performance in Mangold’s Cop Land. The supports are good, especially John C. McGinley (One of the Bobs in Office Space) as a concerned & nervous husband and John Hawkes (From Dusk ‘Till Dawn) as the motel manager. There is a little want for a better actress than Amanda Peet in the female lead, and Jake Busey is annoying as usual (Hey Gary, why don’t you take Jake out back and teach him to be cool or kick his sorry ass!) in his small role.

The twists in the final reel will leave a lot of viewers scratching their heads, and to an extent they may feel forced. But we’d been set up perfectly the whole movie, we just needed to keep our eyes open. Many also may criticize the frantic status with which a lot of the characters speak, but I’d stutter and freak if I were trapped with a killer on the loose too! These details may be too much for the viewer who looks down upon the films they watch as lower entities, but to the wide-eyed and ready viewers they’re welcome additions.

I realized through imagining the film with low budget actors that it left a taste like the type of direct-to video fodder we’ve seen far too often. It reminded me a lot of another horror film, Session 9, which came from a similar script and never made a splash from the independent market. Identity is only making it to the mainstream because of it’s cast, the script would have never gotten through Hollywood without them.

It took a lot of guts for whomever green-lit this script to do so, and the results are an entertaining, yet not altogether amazing product. Identity is a solid psychological thriller, and it’s one that is worth checking out as long as you can free your mind and think about it without predetermined doubts. At the worst it’s a popcorn flick that will make you think, a rarity in Hollywood these days. Check it out. The Mike’s Grade: B 

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Filed under: Movies, Suspense

Confidence

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted at 12:24 am

A Film Review By The Mike

Rating:RATED R for Language and Violence
Starring: Edward Burns, Dustin Hoffman, Rachel Weisz, Andy Garcia
Directed By:James Foley

Final Grade:

While watching Confidence, I was overwhelmed by the feeling I’d seen this before. Every line, every motion, and every trick had been pulled on me before. Whether it was Heist, The Score, or any other con artist flick, I knew what was going to happen or what was happening at all times. I also enjoyed every second of it. One might say I was the one being conned, that such a rehash of previously filmed material should not be so enjoyable. That may be right, but I’ll take it any day.

The film opens with a shot of our main character, Jake Vig (Burns) laying on the ground drenched in blood. In a voice over we hear his first line, a line I’m sure our webmaster might use at some point: “So I’m dead, and I think it’s all because of this redhead.” We are then taken back three weeks and introduced to Jake and his team, which consists of a prankster (Paul Giamatti from Man on the Moon and Private Parts), a young stud (Brian Van Holt) and Big Al, who never plays “the inside.” We find them in the midst of a heist from a weasely businessman (The ever annoying Leland Orser), and coming away with 150,000 dollars.

Unfortunately, the money was on its way to The King (Dustin Hoffman), a seedy gangster who never forgets any injustice. He meets with Jake, after killing off Big Al and the weasel, and explains that since Jake can’t give him the money back he must instead pull a bigger job for him and rip off a multi-millionaire banker (Robert Forster).

That’s the set up, and, of course, it doesn’t go down that way. Twists and turns come and go, and the addition of a fiery pickpocket named Lily (Weisz) to the team doesn’t do much to uncomplicate things. Jake’s scheme to get to the money is both simple and insane, and it’s clear that it’s not the best plan that could arise. Add to the mix two dirty cops (Donal Logue of Blade and Luis Guzman) and one fed who’s itching to catch Jake (Garcia), and this is definitely the toughest con Jake’s ever faced.

If you’ve made it this far into this review and know anything about movies you’ll realize that this film is amazingly cast. I expected this much going in to the film, but wasn’t sure if Burns could pull off the tough guy role. I was surprised to an extent I could not believe, Burns’ Jake oozed with every aspect of cool, calm, and chilled blood that any con man in a film like this should have. It’s one of the best performances I’ve seen this year. Hoffman is priceless as a total scumbag, and Garcia chews up every minute of screen time he gets. The acting alone is well worth the price of admission.

James Foley’s direction is also undeniably cool. The movement from present to flashback to voice over narration is quick and shifty, with scenes sideswiping past each other often. The script is clever and wordy, and though it is similar to any other con artist script it seems fresh and original.

Confidence is not original, predictable as gravity, and doesn’t give us a single character that we should genuinely care about. But it’s also extremely slick and captivatingly entertaining, keeping me on the edge of my seat until the projector broke down with two minutes left. Luckily I could hear the ending, and was able to piece the puzzle together easily. The result looked like this: Go see this movie, you’ll be entertained and won’t want to miss a second.

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Filed under: Criminal, Movies, Suspense

Bulletproof Monk

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted April 16, 2003 at 11:51 pm

A Film Review By The Mike

Rating:RATED PG-13 for Violence and Implied Sexuality 
Starring: Chow Yun-Fat, Seann William Scott, Jamie King 
Directed By: Paul Hunter 

Final Grade: 

When I began writing reviews in November, the first film I reviewed was The Tuxedo, a film I gave a too high grade because I knew it would be fun to right a review that defends a really bad movie. I find it ironic that five months later I’m reviewing a film that is comparable to The Tuxedo in plat and style, but is twice as good as The Tuxedo…And I’m giving it a lower grade than I did The Tuxedo. I’ve turned into an evil critic.

Bulletproof Monk is a film that comes out near the end of a season in which disappointment has been my most common reaction to new films. I had some good expectations that this would be an entertaining and fun film, and it almost met them. But almost only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades (I like to argue for almost counting in schoolwork, but I’m in the minority).

The story of Bulletproof Monk centers around a monk with no name (Fat), who is entrusted as the guardian of a sacred scroll which gives all who read it the power to control the world. We all know that no one should be allowed to control the world, so we understand why he must guard it. The problem is, that as soon as he comes into his guardian role his entire brethren of monks are killed by a Nazi (Karel Roden from 15 Minutes, who looks creepily similar to Gary Oldman…very creepy) who wants the scroll. The Monk escapes, and evades Nazi-man for 60 years.

Which brings us to modern day New York City, and a young man named Karr (Scott), who’s a pickpocket by day and a projectionist at a kung-fu theater by night. After the Monk witnesses Karr win a battle with a street lord, with an assist from a mysterious and hot chick named Bad Girl (King), he realizes that, despite the looks, Karr may be the prophesied next protector of the scroll. But if they’re going to stop Nazi-man, the three must team up.

The first half of Bulletproof Monk is cliched and slow, giving us nothing we haven’t seen before in character and plot development. But once the action picks up half way through, we’re treated to some beautiful action scenes that are a little bit Kung Fu and a little bit Hong Kong. Chow Yun-Fat is amazing as usual in his action presence, and Scott and King are suprisingly good in their fight scenes. The fights are beautifully choreographed, and don’t cease to entertain us throughout the film.

The strongest point this film has is it’s cast, with the three leads oozing charisma that few stars give off in this kind of film. AS mentioned above, Chow Yun-Fat is perfect, definitely cementing his place as the best international action star today with his style, grace, and amusing facial reactions. Seann William Scott is probably the most charismatic young actor we have, and though the character is no stretch when you look at his previous characters, he comes off as an entertaining star. The revelation is Jamie King, an actress whose previous work consists of horrible films like Slackers and Pearl Harbor, but who here is a perfect female lead. She’s not an Oscar caliber star (yet), but she’s got a lot of commercial film potential, and I hope to see more from her in the near future.

Despite these high points, I can’t outright recommend Bulletproof Monk. It’s too unoriginal in plot, and the first half of the film is too tedious. I give massive props to the cast and the crew for making this a enjoyable film experience, but in the end it’s only enjoyable, giving us nothing substantial and meaningful, except for finally answering the question “Why do Hot Dogs come in packages of 10, while Hot Dog Buns come in packages of only 8?” It’s a film that will probably end up in my personal collection, thanks to the great cast and cool action scenes. But most viewers are stingier than I am, and even I know this is not an extremely good movie. At least it wasn’t another shameful disappointment. 

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Filed under: Action, Movies, Science Fiction
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