|Rating:Rated PG-13 for violence, sexuality and language.
Starring:Kid Rock, Laurence Fishburne
Directed by:Reggie Rock Bythewood
WEBMASTERS NOTE: This review is one that the writers of Box Office Boredom argued and argued over who was going to watch Biker Boyz. Finally after much debate, the review was handed to an outside source, one of the people who lives with Jason, Andy Ross. Andy decided that the best way to express himself was not through writing an actual review, but instead construct it in poetry form for everyone’s reading pleasure. I apologize in advance if this review wastes your time.
Biker Boyz, a review in verse.
In the dark two said, “A script we shall write,
for a largely black cast on motorbikes
made of plastic. They’ll have cool helmets on.
I know, we’ll get Kid Rock to be a Don,
or a President or something like that.
Lawrence Fishburne too, though he’s old and fat.”
And So they wrote the script to Biker Boyz.
I cannot write about great pangs of joy
or pain from this movie. It was cheesy.
It made use of slang like “Off the heezy.”
It had Rufio on a 4-wheeler,
there was not a single damned drug dealer.
It was not either fast or furious,
But nonetheless, it kept me curious
I wondered where the racers got the green
to keep their bikes nice, new, shiny, and clean,
Why the characters were made flat and dull,
that I didn’t care about them at all.
So, in conclusion:
I could write about this tiring movie
for a very long time (not that I should)
So as an ex-girlfriend said about me:
The bad things by far outweigh all the good.