Archive for November, 2002

8 Crazy Nights

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted November 27, 2002 at 3:25 pm

A Film Review By Michael Haley

Rating:PG-13 for some language, sexual humor and naughtiness.
Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin Nealon, Jon Lovitz, Tyra Banks.
Directed By:Seth Kearsley

Final Grade:

Not too long ago, Adam Sandler ventured out onto a new frontier with Punchdrunk Love (ignore my C+ grade I gave it at the time…I must have been drunk. B definitely), and only a month later, here comes the good old Sandler that some of us love, in animated form. He also has a side job of recording comedy c.d.’s, and in this movie, he gets to do both…he provides the voices and songs, and the overworked and underage animators in Asia get to take care of the rest. Now I love Adam Sandler and all, but after Mr. Deeds, it’s becoming apparent that his usual shtick is starting to wear a little thin. Does this film live up to his old charm? Not really, but it has fun trying.

Sandler stars as Davey, the town drunk, meanie, and all around asshole. Due to a court order, he is forced to serve as a youth basketball coach (something the movie forgets about one scene) under the watchful eye of Wighty, a four foot tall, eighty-something year old senile man. This goes down during the eight “crazy” nights of Hanukah, if that really matters (I’m told I would see more in this movie if I was Jewish, which is good for them because I don’t see much of anything as I am now).

Pardon me, I made the movie sound like Ballistic, and rest assured, it’s nowhere near that level. There are some hearty chuckles to be had here, and a few moments are truly hilarious and inspired, such as the scene where Whitey makes a long rhyme out every store that advertises itself in the mall (and movie). The reindeer may be cute but not at all cuddly, and Whitey, although obnoxious quite often, has his moments in the sun (or shall we say ice, poopsicle?)

If nothing else, the one reason to see this movie if for its soundtrack (or better yet, go see Solaris and buy the soundtrack for this one). The songs, sung by Sandler as well, rock. I can’t remember the title at the moment (but it goes bum diddy bum bum) is worthy as a stand alone regardless of the specific humor of the song, and gives the movie more weight dramatically and theatrically, than it deserves. The third installment of the Hanukah song is a treat as well, especially the bit about Brando, and the song “That’s a Technical Foul” is downright ludicrous, but I have to admit, inventive.

Still, I have my reservations about the film…for every one joke that made me laugh uncontrollably there was five more that didn’t do anything for me at all. One can only hear so many dick and fart jokes before one gets bored, and as far as dick and fart jokes go, this film has many. The persona that Adam Sandler has played for eight or so movies now (and deconstructed well in Punchdrunk Love) is back once again, and doesn’t do much to surprise us. His next, entitled Anger Management looks to be a more comedic, Sandlerized version of Barry Egan, his Punchdrunk Love character, so there is hope he extends his range (just so that his roles from here on out aren’t all Barry Egans). At this point, Sandler’s old-made-new again material is simply getting tiresome, and he needs something new, and fast.

Also, the movie is way too mean-spirited to be nice, and too nice to be mean-spirited. I mean was it really necessary to shove Whitey down a hill while he’s in an outhouse and than freeze him? If this wasn’t a cartoon, Whitey would’ve been dead…that’s not funny, that’s downright macabre (I love macabre humor and all, but it doesn’t work for this film). It’s other equally tasteless jokes as this that cements Davey as an asshole, and when he does turn himself around, it seems artificial (although not as artificial as the world of The Emperor’s Club). It’s like they tacked on a happy ending to have one, when the material is much darker and meaner spirited in nature. The film would have been a lot more effective, not to mention funnier, had they stuck with one vein and ran with it, instead of trying to straddle both.

Overall, Eight Crazy Nights isn’t really horrible, but average. I don’t reward mediocrity like The Mike and the other guy who thinks he’s a critic, but you could still do a lot worse. For an Adam Sandler movie, you pretty much get what you come for. If you previously weren’t a fan, this won’t win you over, but you won’t demand ninety minutes of your time back…maybe forty or so, but not ninety.

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Filed under: Animated, Comedy, Holiday, Movies

Treasure Planet

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted at 6:43 am

A Film Review By Michael Haley

Rating:PG for nothing.
Starring: Joseph Gordon Levitt, Brian Murray, Laurie Metcalf, David Hyde Pierce, Martin Short
Directed By: Ron Clements, Don Musker

Final Grade:

Treasure Planet is a space adventure adapted from Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island, a book that I should have read being an English major but alas have not (I can’t stand half of the books I do have to read at times, so why waste my time on that one?) Nevertheless, Disney has taken the original source material and crafted a joyous and epic adventure for the young and old alike, and will be enjoyed by all. And no, Cuddly Michael did not return…this is good old Michael writing this review, which goes to show how special this film is.

Jim Hawkins is a dreamer who wishes to go on an epic adventure, enchanted by the moving pop up books he read as a child. I presume this one is set in the future since humans and aliens intermix, although the movie doesn’t specify, not that it matters. Twelve years pass, and he still has the heart of an adventurer, although his mom is falling upon tough times financially. He comes across an orb that he instantly figures out the secret to, which opens to reveal the location of the treasure of a thousand worlds, hidden on a planet far away. He joins the crew of a space ship to seek out the treasure, befriending the cook along the way. However, the cook is also the leader of a ring of pirates who have been seeking the treasure, which leaves the cook in a predicament…does he turn his back on the treasure he’s been seeking his whole life in favor of the boy, or betray him and go for the gold as he intended to do in the first place?

This isn’t a “deep” movie by any means, as the thematic content of the story will be familiar to even those who have not read Treasure Island. However, it’s so insanely well done here that we feel as if we’re seeing this kind of thing for the first time. The characters are believable and fun, especially the Morph creature that hangs around the Cook but doesn’t have a particular allegiance but chooses to morph into various people and things at his amusement. The characters are developed well throughout, until we find that the lines of good and bad among the principal characters (not secondary) are blurred to the point where we can look at them without putting them through a “good” or “evil” filter. The story is well written and sentimental without resorting to sap, and John Reznick’s songs enhance the story well, not to mention the thrilling and enchanting score.

However, what really did it for me was the sense of true adventure, as the space travelers go though scene after scene of creative beauty. The film is a hybrid mix of traditional 2-D animation for the characters transverse through 3-D, CGI backgrounds, and the result is lovely. The camera flows freely (okay, there isn’t really a camera in animation, but you know what I mean) and the sense of fluidity and freedom is awe inspiring. The film is overflowing with little details like the space fish, that look both menacing yet enticingly beautiful, as well as the various stars and planets that occupy this galaxy. One feels as if he truly on the adventure along with the crew, and when Hawkins has to swab the deck, we feel along with him because we want to see the sights as much as he does.

If it wasn’t for a pile of undone homework, I would continue this review further, but as college students I’m sure you can all sympathize. The only weak moments were some of the “kiddy” humor as well as the flatulence monster that was unnecessary and detracted from the wonder of the moment, but all things considered, I can (and will) overlook it. Treasure Planet is one of the year’s finest films, and together with Spirited Away represents a hell of a year for animation. You won’t regret watching this one.

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Filed under: Animated, Family, Movies

THEY

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted at 6:34 am

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Rating:Rated PG-13 for terror/violence, sexual content and language.
Starring: A bunch of people, none that are really that important…
Directed By:Robert Harmon

Final Grade:

Back in the day, before I became the movie buff that I am now, (this was shortly after dinosaurs roamed the earth) , my former roommate, friend and fellow writer for Box Office Boredom “The” Mike came back to the dorms with a copy of a film he was sure would be great. He found the copy of the movie Wes Craven Presents Carnival of Souls on the extremely cheap rack somewhere, and picked it up figuring it couldn’t be that bad. This idea was based on two things, neither which proved to be good reasons.
1. He had heard good things about the original Carnival of Souls and so he figured this remake should be equally good.
2. It had Wes Craven’s name on it. That must be ok, right?
Two hours later, Mike, some friends and I all sat starring blankly at the credits, while asking ourselves what in the heck we just saw, and tried to find ways to gain the time we wasted on the movie back. It was shortly after that night I began rating movies on a scale of Carnival of Souls to 10. Very few movies ever got the Carnival of Souls rating except Get Carter (the Stallone Version) and then a few years later I began creating Box Office Boredom. I never forgot however how bad movies could be, and I kept reminding myself of that one horrid night when I watched Wes Craven Presents Carnival of Souls. Last night, I relived the horrifying feeling of a “Wes Craven Presents” movie…

Wes Craven Presents THEY, tells the story of 4 people who all grow up having night terrors, each of them believing that something is going to “get” them when they are alone in the dark. Nineteen years later the save four individuals find themselves reliving their nightmares, after one of them commits suicide claiming that “THEY” are coming to get him. Slowly one by one began to meet their fate as our characters struggle to find out if “THEY” exist in reality or if it is their own lucid dream…

What can I say about Wes Craven Presents THEY? I was sadly disappointed. The movie was supposed to be scary, but the stupidity of it all kept me from flinching. Sure their were some quick pops that kept everyone on their toes, but all in all Wes Craven Presents THEY proved to be a waste of time. The characters lacked a lot of depth, and the acting seemed to have our characters just going through the motions. The whole film just lacked feeling, emotion and well “common sense.” I never did figure out what “THEY” are and well frankly I don’t care. The climax of the movie is the worst excuse of a cliffhanger ending I have ever seen. As the beginning credits began to roll, I sat there watching them hoping somewhere I would at least get a paragraph blurb saying what the point of the movie was (if there was one) or at least a personal apology from the people who made the film for making their viewers sit through it.

Now you’re probably thinking, but it’s by Wes Craven. Even if I don’t know who he is, I’ve at least heard of the guy. Since the name is popular, can it really be that bad? Keep in mind the title of the movie Wes Craven Presents THEY. Presents is the key word. Wes Craven is simply presenting it to you. He probably had nothing to do with the film, possibly never set foot on the set. Each week I present you with a lot of reviews, but that doesn’t mean that they are “good.”

By the end of Wes Craven Presents THEY I was nearly in tears. I was sobbing because now I have wasted at least 4 hours worth of my life to “Wes Craven Presents” movies. I want those few hours back so I can spend them on quality films. Don’t make the same mistakes I have. Avoid Wes Craven Presents THEY and Wes Craven Presents Carnival of Souls. You will be happy you did. Head to the box office to check it out if you must, but this one just doesn’t make the passing grade. As I look back on my scale of old (Carnival of Souls to 10) Wes Craven Presents THEY gets a Carnival of Souls Rating (0) Welcome to the Ranks of Get Carter, THEY You must be very proud…..

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Filed under: Horror, Movies, Suspense

Solaris

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted at 6:09 am

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Rating:Rated PG-13 for some sexual content.(and random shots of George Clooney’s Ass) .
Starring: George Clooney, Natascha McElhone, Jeremy Davies
Directed By:Steven Soderberg

Final Grade:

This week Steven Soderbergh’s adaptation of the Sci-fi novel “Solaris” hit the box offices. Soderbergh, who worked with George Clooney on last years hit, Oceans 11 gave Clooney another chance a big screen stardom as he recreates the story of Chris Calvin’s moral dilemma aboard the space station Solaris.

The story is simplistic. When a group of people on the space station Solaris call for help, they send Chris Calvin to space to find out what really happened at Solaris. Upon his arrival he finds that only two of the original crew members are still alive. The rest have killed themselves or died in “accidents.” As the confused Calvin tries to uncover the truth, he begins to see visions of his wife who committed suicide years ago. Determined to relive the life he missed out on the first time, Chris does what he can to once again salvage his once lost marriage and true love. But as the truth behind the “apparition” of his wife unfolds, Chris must decide if he really can salvage anything with her in this dream come true, or if he is destined to lose it all again.

Solaris although it had a good plot, was one of the slowest moving films I have seen in a while. Soderbergh had good intentions with the film and on an intellectual level it was worth a view, but plain and simply stated, for a movie that was under two hours long it couldn’t keep my interest for more than 15 minutes at a time. By the time the plot started to be in anyway interesting, I had already lost interest in the film, and seen the naked Backside of George Clooney for 2 minutes longer than I ever needed to see.

Which in fact brings me to my next comment. The film is a must see if you are obsessed with Clooney. They give you more than enough scenes of Clooney without a shirt, and unfortunately Clooney lacking pants. Now I would have been much happier if they at least gave you some warning before they just randomly showed scenes of Clooney’s backside. Soderbergh could have been at least nice enough to put a warning at the beginning of the film like the following: “WARNING: This film contains pointless shots of George Clooney’s Butt, if you don’t want to see it, make sure you cover your eyes!” But of course they didn’t so I was forced to suffer. Had the random nudity had a purpose I may not have been so disturbed, never mind It’s George Clooney I guess I would have been offended either way.

However, Solaris lacked in more than a slow script and unnecessary shot of George Clooney’s Backside. Clooney although he was supposed to be convincing, was more of a bore on the screen, and sadly enough drug us along through sub-par dialogue and mediocrity in acting. For some reason, Clooney just seemed to be a bore on the screen, and couldn’t keep my mind from wondering and asking my self questions such as, “Is this movie almost over? Why am I not watching 8 Crazy Nights tonight instead? I wonder if there will be any more scenes of Clooney’s ass?”

Soderbergh had potential for a great film in Solaris but just missed the mark this time. It’s nothing that the mainstream audience is going to enjoy, unless you have a strange obsession with Clooney. As for the not so mainstream audiences it’s either an enjoyable experience or a bore and a waste of time. Although I was happy to see the credits of Solaris I’m going to say that if I was in the right mood it may be an ok film, so I might have to give it a second view. But as for the general public don’t waste your time. Clooney was given a role that had the potential to be good but he wasted it and let Soderbergh down this time. Never the less, Clooney needs to buy Soderbegh a drink for giving him the opportunity for such great roles in the last few years. Now if only Clooney could convince Soderbergh to give Mark Wahlberg that same chance… but my fear is that won’t be until they have Soderbergh remake Solaris or Oceans 11…

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Filed under: Drama, Movies

Frida

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted at 3:01 am

A Film Review By Michael Haley

Rating:R for language, strong sexuality and adult situations.
Starring: Salma Hayek, Alfred Molina, Geoffrey Rush, Valeria Galino, Ashley Judd, Edward Norton.
Directed By:Julie Taymor

Final Grade:

In this cold, lonely month that releases cold, lonely movies (you know which ones I’m talking about) how invigorating it is to see a film that’s so lush, full of feeling, and contains the thrill of life in almost every frame. No I’m not talking about Kangaroo Jack but the biopic Frida, based off of the artist Frida Kahlo’s life and her art, shared with fellow friend and artist (and husband on paper anyway) Diego Rivera. Although the material itself is hollow on occasion, the sheer love and passion thrown into the work burst through the seams and makes for a spectacular film.

Salma Hayek stars as the title artist, who is on her way to her one and only one woman show showcasing her art. She’s deathly ill and has been ordered to stay in bed, so that’s exactly what she does—stays in bed, and has others take the bed to the art show. Anyway, we than flash back to her high school days, where she and her friends observe Diego Rivera painting a nude woman, and being kids, they can’t believe they’re seeing someone pose nude. Life is going swell, when an accident in a trolley leaves her in a cast for quite awhile and inflicts pain upon her that will never come to pass. She eventually comes to walk again and begins an affair with Diego that turns into a marriage, albeit not a conventional one. They’re both free to have sex with others as long as they are loyal to each other because they don’t believe in convention, but because they are human, feel their ideals betray their feelings when both do have affairs outside the marriage. Along the way events are depicted such as Nelson Rockefeller’s destruction of Diego’s portrayal of Lenin in the mural he had painted for him and Leon Trotsky’s final days in Mexico.

With the Oscars around the corner, I never once thought that I would be clamoring for Salma Hayek’s nomination, but she surprised me. I always thought that she was a competent actress, but after this role, I am convinced that she is a great one. She truly makes Frida come to life for us, allowing contradiction, passion, hurt, and joy to come through in her performance. From the scene early on where she meets Diego for the first time and onward, her performance is something to behold. I don’t wish to shortchange the rest of the cast, all of whom lay out excellent performances as well. Alfred Molina has never been better (and he’s always been good) as Diego, and Geoffrey Rush manages to do so much in his short amount of screen time. The make up that turned Rush into the Russian Leon Trotsky is stellar, and I didn’t recognize him until his name popped up in the credits. Even Ashley Judd’s short role was beautifully acted, and I’m starting to earn a small respect for Judd (who was one of the few redeeming factors of Divine Secrets of the Idiot Sisterhood). Ensemble pieces can be tricky as big actors have a tendency to overplay their roles competing for the spotlight, but in this case, each actor became an instrument in the orchestra’s beautiful melody.

The performances are so good that it helps disguise the fact that the film itself is a little shallow. We hit most of the important stages of Frida’s life and career, but none of which are dealt with too deeply. At best, the film is an overview of her life that would best serve as an introductory to further study rather than the full course. We get some half scenes that showcase her and Diego’s political ideologies that fueled their art, but are abbreviated. This is fine for someone who’s quite familiar with her life and work, but if the viewer is like me and knows very little of Diego and Frida beyond their roles in the Tim Robbins film Cradle Will Rock, some further explanation is needed to truly understand the characters.

Even so, the film still works amazingly well not only because of the performances but also the sheer energy and passion that went into its production. The sets are built with vibrant colors that help showcase her art, and at times we’re even given short interludes that express her inner suffering through artistic representation akin to the work she put out. This film is hard to write about in this respect because the film captures not only the rhythm but the melodies of life that many filmmakers try to capture but rarely succeed. It’s hard to say exactly, “Well, it’s this scene that makes the film so great…” or “This is what they did right” because life itself is hard to pin down, but we realize when we see it. One instinctively feels it, and it’s felt here in all the right ways.

Another thing that’s so refreshing about the film is that it showcases Frida while never making any judgments towards her, one way or the other. It’s apparent that the makers love her and her work, but they allow the viewer to make that distinction themselves. It can be hard (for some people anyway) when she smokes, drinks, and is very promiscuous to say the least, but these are aspects of existence that would be untruthful to exclude. I was amazed to see an English language film that actually looks at her and her sexuality as it really is, and unafraid to be erotic, enticing, or voluptuous (I’m looking at you Ron Howard, and certain fudging of the facts of John Nash’s “preferences”).

This film is wonderful, but the reason my grade isn’t as high as one might expect is because as I’ve mentioned earlier, the script is hollow at times, and doesn’t probe into her life or her art the way it could have. Even so, you won’t regret watching the film, which is a moving and sometimes exhilarating portrait of the artist, her husband, and those that she touched along the way (some more so than others).

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Filed under: Drama, Movies
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