The Truth About Charlie

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Rating:Rated PG-13 for some language, sexual situations and nudity
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Thandie Newton, Tim Robbins
Directed By:Jonathan Demme

Final Grade:

The other night after watching 8 Mile I decided that I would head over to movies 12 and check out The Truth About Charlie. I didn’t expect much. The film was based off an old Cary Grant movie and it starred none other than everyone’s favorite remake actor, Mark, “Marky-Mark” Wahlberg. But I told myself it was going to be an enjoyable night at the theater, and headed in with some friends to check out what I thought was going to be on ok flick. In the end, my thoughts were something completely different.

Now I don’t have a bitter hatred for Mark Wahlberg. Or at least I didn’t. Sure he may have followed around George Clooney for a few years, and well that creeped me out, sure he may have starred in Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes (which I actually liked until I saw the original) but I could forgive him for all of those. He brought out Rockstar and he tricked me into actually enjoying it (I am sad to say I have a copy of the DVD in my collection (Side note: It was on the excessively cheap please buy me or else rack at Hastings. Some of those copies are probably still there)). All that aside I realized I don’t mind Wahlberg. At one time I thought he might actually make it in the world of acting as an OK guy. But then he made the biggest mistakes of his career: Remakes and make no mistake, The Truth About Charlie continues Wahlberg’s downward spiral from Hollywood Hero to Zero.

The Truth About Charlie is supposed to be based on Charade and well I guess it is. The basic Premise is there. A young woman, Regina Lampert, who in this case is played by that Mission Impossible 2 Chick. (You all know her, In fact Michael may have a poster of her hanging above his bed) Well Miss Regina Lampert plans to divorce her husband. As she travels to do it she finds out that he is dead. Soon after she finds out that her husband is worth millions of dollars that she never knew about. She learns the money is stolen money and someone wants it back and will do anything to return the money to who they think are the rightful owners. As she escapes her attackers she meets charming young Peter Joshua (Walhberg) as he helps her flee from the people who are following her. But in the end this game and cat and mouse leads to a game of lies and deceit and in the end finding out the real truth about her former husband, Charlie.

To be honest with you, I didn’t make it to the end of this film. It was horrible. I haven’t walked out on a film since The Glass House. I’ve been a fan of Charade for a long time, and The Truth About Charlie made a complete mockery of it. Everything about The Truth About Charlie was terrible. The acting, the dialogue, the film in general was just sub-par. Marky Mark is nice enough to supply is with stupid cheese such as “I am not a good listener, you are a good talker.” Way to go Marky Mark, way to be suave. And to top off the whole film, we start off with a shot of breasts. Everyone loves breasts. But are they important to this movie? No! They just keep people’s attention a little longer, making them wonder, will there be more. Was there more? I couldn’t tell you, even breasts couldn’t keep my attention span alive during The Truth About Charlie

Now in Charade we actually had a colorful cast of characters. A young Walter Matthau now replaced by Tim Robbins, and a cast of 3 men each with unique features following Regina Lampert. But The Truth About Charlie has to be different. It takes those interesting characters and replaces them with two stupid guys that were probably Home Alone 3(yes they did make that) rejects and one token black girl with a butch haircut and enough muscle to make you think she was half man.

To sum up The Truth About Charlie It can best be explained by this. Director Jonathan Demme must have told the entire cast to run around the stage like chickens with their heads cut off, while he took a coffee break. The actors did what they were told, and the camera didn’t get turned off. The real movie which I sure was equally as marvelous got destroyed in a tragic fire, and so all they had to go with was the footage from Demme’s Hour and a half coffee break. So they went with it and released The Truth About Charlie. Sadly enough I don’t think that is the real story, but for Marky-Marks sake, lets hope so.

Now I know Michael Hates absolutely everything, and by now our readers are thinking, just when are those 2 guys actually going to like anything? Don’t worry, I try to at least be nice to a film every once in a while. But all in all I can’t do it with this one. I figure if I walked out, I can’t justify telling you its worth watching, even for a rental. Sorry readers but I’m going to have to advise you NOT to check out The Truth About Charlie. I only do it because it is for your own good.

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