Archive for October, 2002

Ghost Ship

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Rating:Rated R for strong violence/gore, language and sexuality 
Starring:Gabriel Byrne, Julliana Marguiles, Ron Elard, Emily Browning, Desmond Harrington, Issiah Washington 
Directed By:Steve Beck 

Final Grade: 

When I was younger I used to always have this fear of creepy old ships. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I couldn’t swim, so I was always terrified of drowning. Nevertheless, I was creeped out by boats of just about any size. I can’t say I’ve ever been to sea, and my furthest water adventure has been on the middle of a lake, which wasn’t much more than a large mud puddle. My life is safer that way. I’m proud to say that the nearest I’ve been to the middle of the sea, or even a cruise ship is on the movie screen. I’m quite happy this way and watching Ghost Ship didn’t make me want to head out to brave the water anytime soon.

Ghost Ship is the story of a group of boat salvagers who take on a job presented to them by a mysterious plane pilot who crosses their path. He tells them a story of a ship, that he has found drifting in the ocean, and he wants them to help him bring it in. Since the potential for what they think may be some easy cash is at hand, they take the job and head out to sea. Once they make it there however things get a little more eerie. The ship seems to appear out of nowhere, and strange occurrences begin to happen when the crew gets on board the old vessel. As the crew tries to figure out if their imaginations are playing tricks on them, or if the drifting vessel is haunted, they learn the truth behind the mysterious ship, it’s former guests and their mysterious deaths.

All in all, the movie is going to get more of a bad wrap than it deserves. Steve Beck directs this suspenseful thriller and gives us a decent flick. I was a little leery, especially since his previous work Thirteen Ghosts was such a flop, and a waste of my money. But all in all, I thought Beck pulled through in this one. Cinematically, there were many things that kept you watching. The film was shot in a manner that just gave you that natural creepy vibe through most of the movie. The film was also nicely scored, and the music only enhanced the film. In a suspense/ thriller sometimes music can make or break a film. You can have too much suspense music and it becomes cheesy, not enough suspense music and it leave the audience not frightened at all. Like I said, it can be a fine line. This film walked that line perfectly.

And now on to our actors. Who are these people? Sure those die hard people who have watched TV’s ERfor years can point our actress Julianna Margulies, who played Nurse Carol Hathaway, but all in all our cast is a bunch of faces that we haven’t seen much from. Despite that however, this is a group of actors that complimented themselves nicely. Every one of them played their role. None of them out shined the others, and no one did anything so outstanding that they deserve great honors, but they did their part, and there is a certain level of respect that I have for that. Emily Browning plays young Katie, an apparition the crew sees on the ship. Her role is that creepy little girl that is innocent and sweet yet creeps the hell out of you. Why? Because she is dead! Browning does a wonderful job in this film for her simple role. Way to go on that Emily! I haven’t been that creeped out by a little girl since the little holographic girl in Resident Evil. Kudos to the person who cast this movie, and kudos to the actors for a job well done, hopefully I will see more of them in future films, since I think a few of them have potential.

Now every movie has its flaws. And if I didn’t point them out, I wouldn’t be a critic now would I? That and it would look like I am the worse critic of the two that write for the site, since Michael can be a real jerk about films sometimes. Ghost Ship lacks something. It foreshadows things at the beginning, such as a relationship between two of the crewmembers that never really goes anywhere. There are multiple other examples of this as well. Beck’s direction gives us plenty of foreshadowed images such as dead doves, etc that the average viewer would overlook. At times this imagery, if you start to look for it can be a little overbearing, and almost too much. But like I said since I seem to be the only one who notices stuff like this, and over analyzing things is part of my English major, it’s easy to forgive Beck for such things. There were some examples of some poor dialogue and even some mediocre special effects in spots, but creepy gore, such as the first 5 minutes of the film makes up for it all.

When I went into Ghost Ship I was expecting nothing, but believe it or not, I came out with something. It only enhanced my fear of creepy old boats, gave me a reason to still hate water, but a reason to give a thumbs up to Steve Beck. All in all Ghost ship is a borderline film. It’s nothing outstanding, but it’s a thriller/ suspense film. You aren’t supposed to gain new insight on life or look at the world in a different way after viewing it. It’s there to entertain you. It supposed to leave you a little creeped out and on the edge of your seat for a few seconds (or hiding, shivering in a little ball in your seat). For a movie that I thought was going to sink faster than the Titanic, Ghost Ship turned out to be a film that will stay afloat on my rating scale, yet sadly enough will quickly drift out of the box office and out of people’s memories. 

The Truth About Charlie

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Rating:Rated PG-13 for some language, sexual situations and nudity
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Thandie Newton, Tim Robbins
Directed By:Jonathan Demme

Final Grade:

The other night after watching 8 Mile I decided that I would head over to movies 12 and check out The Truth About Charlie. I didn’t expect much. The film was based off an old Cary Grant movie and it starred none other than everyone’s favorite remake actor, Mark, “Marky-Mark” Wahlberg. But I told myself it was going to be an enjoyable night at the theater, and headed in with some friends to check out what I thought was going to be on ok flick. In the end, my thoughts were something completely different.

Now I don’t have a bitter hatred for Mark Wahlberg. Or at least I didn’t. Sure he may have followed around George Clooney for a few years, and well that creeped me out, sure he may have starred in Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes (which I actually liked until I saw the original) but I could forgive him for all of those. He brought out Rockstar and he tricked me into actually enjoying it (I am sad to say I have a copy of the DVD in my collection (Side note: It was on the excessively cheap please buy me or else rack at Hastings. Some of those copies are probably still there)). All that aside I realized I don’t mind Wahlberg. At one time I thought he might actually make it in the world of acting as an OK guy. But then he made the biggest mistakes of his career: Remakes and make no mistake, The Truth About Charlie continues Wahlberg’s downward spiral from Hollywood Hero to Zero.

The Truth About Charlie is supposed to be based on Charade and well I guess it is. The basic Premise is there. A young woman, Regina Lampert, who in this case is played by that Mission Impossible 2 Chick. (You all know her, In fact Michael may have a poster of her hanging above his bed) Well Miss Regina Lampert plans to divorce her husband. As she travels to do it she finds out that he is dead. Soon after she finds out that her husband is worth millions of dollars that she never knew about. She learns the money is stolen money and someone wants it back and will do anything to return the money to who they think are the rightful owners. As she escapes her attackers she meets charming young Peter Joshua (Walhberg) as he helps her flee from the people who are following her. But in the end this game and cat and mouse leads to a game of lies and deceit and in the end finding out the real truth about her former husband, Charlie.

To be honest with you, I didn’t make it to the end of this film. It was horrible. I haven’t walked out on a film since The Glass House. I’ve been a fan of Charade for a long time, and The Truth About Charlie made a complete mockery of it. Everything about The Truth About Charlie was terrible. The acting, the dialogue, the film in general was just sub-par. Marky Mark is nice enough to supply is with stupid cheese such as “I am not a good listener, you are a good talker.” Way to go Marky Mark, way to be suave. And to top off the whole film, we start off with a shot of breasts. Everyone loves breasts. But are they important to this movie? No! They just keep people’s attention a little longer, making them wonder, will there be more. Was there more? I couldn’t tell you, even breasts couldn’t keep my attention span alive during The Truth About Charlie

Now in Charade we actually had a colorful cast of characters. A young Walter Matthau now replaced by Tim Robbins, and a cast of 3 men each with unique features following Regina Lampert. But The Truth About Charlie has to be different. It takes those interesting characters and replaces them with two stupid guys that were probably Home Alone 3(yes they did make that) rejects and one token black girl with a butch haircut and enough muscle to make you think she was half man.

To sum up The Truth About Charlie It can best be explained by this. Director Jonathan Demme must have told the entire cast to run around the stage like chickens with their heads cut off, while he took a coffee break. The actors did what they were told, and the camera didn’t get turned off. The real movie which I sure was equally as marvelous got destroyed in a tragic fire, and so all they had to go with was the footage from Demme’s Hour and a half coffee break. So they went with it and released The Truth About Charlie. Sadly enough I don’t think that is the real story, but for Marky-Marks sake, lets hope so.

Now I know Michael Hates absolutely everything, and by now our readers are thinking, just when are those 2 guys actually going to like anything? Don’t worry, I try to at least be nice to a film every once in a while. But all in all I can’t do it with this one. I figure if I walked out, I can’t justify telling you its worth watching, even for a rental. Sorry readers but I’m going to have to advise you NOT to check out The Truth About Charlie. I only do it because it is for your own good.

Jackass: The Movie

A Film Review By Michael Haley

Rating:Rated R for strong language, extremely crude & stupid stunts, nudity, and a bunch of other cool stuff like that
Starring: Stars Johnny Knoxville, Stevo-O, and a bunch of other idiots.
Directed By:Jeff Tremaine

Final Grade:

This review will be short and sweet, simply because it’s pointless to treat Jackass: The Movie as if it really were a movie…there isn’t a story, plot, characters worth caring about, and so forth. I can’t really give it a letter grade, because it quite simply isn’t film. I can’t spend 1000 words discussing the aesthetic value of it nor critiquing it, because it simply defies film period.

If you’re familiar with the television series, you’ll know what to expect here, as this time these guys don’t need to worry about television censorship and can therefore do whatever the hell they want, and believe me, they do.

It’s bold, audacious, shocking, but extremely funny. Is it stupid? Yes. Are these guys retarded? Of course. Did this movie make me laugh? Yes, often uncontrollably. This isn’t art, cinema, or even moral entertainment, and I can’t justify liking it for a second…but I’m still recommending it, if only to see how stupid some males can really be. For female stupidity, which is nonexistent in this film, just watch the Girls Gone Wild with Snoop Dogg infomercial and you’ll get your fix quite nicely.

Bowling for Columbine

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Rating:R for some violent images and language 
Starring: Michael Moore, and a bunch of other people you will recognize… 
Directed By:Michael Moore 

Final Grade: 

Over the weakened I had the chance to make it over to varsity and see Bowling For Columbine.I had heard nothing but positive things about the newest Michael Moore documentary and decided I needed to see for my self. By the time I left Varsity that evening I had taken a whole different look at the world and on gun control.

Bowling For Columbine is the story of controversial Documentary maker Michael Moore as he takes and in depth look at gun control, violence and school shootings. Moore’s investigation leads him to traveling cross-country to visit with the Columbine victims, over to the home of the brother of one of the Oklahoma City Bombers, then to Canada. Along the way he has also meets up with Marilyn Manson and with NRA activist, Charlton Heston to ask their opinions on why America leads the world in gun violence.

Moore’s documentary is a work of art. There was something about it that made me want to watch it another time. Moore has a way of getting right down to the core of the issue and then driving his point home. Combine that with his ridiculous yet entertaining factual commentary the viewer is left with an experience that is both entertaining and a learning experience. In most documentary films I fall asleep or at least take a short nap, but Moore’s work kept my eyes glued to the screen.

Without giving much more away, all I can really say about Bowling For Columbine is that it is a nice way to spend some money at the theater. In a world where everyone is so prone to violent movies, violent music and violence towards movie critics, it’s nice to have someone sit down and lay out the facts for you like Moore does. His hilarious antics and ludicrous ideas are enough to keep you entertained and informed. And if you ask me, isn’t learning at the movies as well as being entertained better than watching stuff blow up for 2 hours? In my mind it is, and I am sure you can think that way too. Go check it out. It’s worth your money, your time and so much Moore. 

Welcome to Collinwood

A Film Review By The Mike

Rating:R for Language, People being hit by buses, and excessive use of the phrase “Your mother’s a Whore!”
Starring: William H. Macy, Isaiah Washington, Sam Rockwell, Michael Jeter, Luis Guzman, Jennifer Esposito, George Clooney
Directed By:Anthony & Joe Russo

Final Grade:

I hate Cleveland. Everything to do with the stupid place. Drew Carey? Hate him and his stupid show. The Cleveland Browns? Hate ‘em. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Hate it, because it won’t let Styx in. Well, today’s film, Welcome to Collinwood, opens with these words on the screen: Somewhere in Cleveland.

Needless to say, this was a bad start in this reviewer’s eyes. However the ensuing shots that fill the movie are all of a filthy, dirty city, and never once does the setting look enticing. This is good, as we finally see the filthy, dirty Cleveland we deserve to see.

Now that I’m past that, let’s talk about the movie. Welcome to Collinwood is an innocent, little, independent comedy, directed by the brothers Russo in their first noticeable effort, and produced by the power duo of George Clooney (who also has a small part) and Steven Soderbergh.

The story begins with Cosimo (Luis Guzman) and Toto (Michael Jeter) attempting to steal a car that no one in their right mind would try to steal. Of course, things go wrong, and Cosimo finds himself in jail, where an old man with a life sentence shares the plan for perfect job with him.

This matters little to Cosimo, unless he can get out of jail. So he sends his wife Rosalind (Patricia Clarkson) out with the story of a job, hoping she’ll find someone to take his wrap and get him freed. She goes to Toto with the secret, but he can’t help, so he goes to Basil (Andrew Davoli). After confessing the deal to him, with no success, the two go to Leon (Isaiah Washington), then to Riley (William H. Macy), and finally to Paro (Sam Rockwell), a down on his luck boxer with attitude to spare. He agrees to take the wrap, but things go wrong, and he finds himself in jail with Cosimo…at least for long enough to get the job from him. Once Paro is freed, the motley crew of thieves is assembled, and the job is set.

This type of dumb criminal scenario has been played out a thousand times, and it’s hard to believe that anything fresh could be done with the formula. Despite this, Welcome to Collinwood makes up for what it lacks in plot with funny dialogue, colorful characters, and some truly funny gags during the “big score” attempt. It’s a film that weaves from place to place easily, keeping us both interested and amused in each scene. There are definite ups and downs however.

The acting in the film is a prime example of these ups and downs. Sam Rockwell’s performance as Paro is at times perfect, at times annoying, and at times both. Rockwell has always been an annoyance to me (Even when he was a young kid in the classic Clownhouse), and I have to say that he surprised me with this performance, or at least with the good parts of the performance. Macy is as solid as usual, and gets some great material to work with. Jeter’s little old man character is always entertaining (except for the bare butt shots), but other than those three the rest of the leads are dull. Davoli and Washington both bring no depth to their characters. As for Jennifer Esposito, as the girl Paro must seduce to get the job, well…she’s simply there. Guzman’s Cosimo is, like Rockwell, a roller coaster ride of good followed by bad, and I wish we could have seen more of him. The biggest treat is Clooney in a small role as a wheelchair-bound safecracker, definitely the funniest and most off-color he’s been in his Hollywood career.

The film isn’t perfect however. It moves rather slowly through its hour and a half runtime. Usually this is good, signifying important plot shifts and/or character development, but in this case it’s just one gag or joke after another. The film gets bonus points for not slipping into gross-out or drug humor much (though the one drug gag, with Macy overdosing on pain killers is hilarious), but at times it seems almost too nice for a film about criminals.
But, these are not your average criminals. They’re way below average in that department. The key to the film is that, despite their ineptitude in career, they’re all worthwhile people. It’s refreshing to see a film with this laid-back of a style, and though it’s not the funniest or most entertaining film you’ll find, it’s worth checking out for the acting of Macy, Jeter, Clooney, and Rockwell, and it’s light-hearted (though obscenity filled) nature. Plus it makes Cleveland look really dirty!!!!

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