Archive for April, 2002

Life or Something Like It

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Edward Burns, Tony Shalhoub
Directed By: Stephen Herek
Rated: Rated PG-13 for sexual content, brief violence and language

Final Grade: <

Reporter, Lanie Kerrigan (Angelina Jolie) thinks she has it all. The perfect job, house, and boyfriend. That is until she has an interview with a psychic homeless man (Tony Shalhoub) for a fluff piece about a football game’s score. Instead, he tells her that her life has no meaning, and is going to end in just a few days. Lanie then tries to find meaning to her life, and struggles with the idea of what does it all mean. With help from co-worker (Ed Burns) Lanie sparks to action, trying to change the pattern of her life in hopes that she will not die, and in the process learns about the joys life and love.

Life or Something like it is trying to make a statement. A statement that says sometimes you have to relax and enjoy life in order to truly understand it. It’s also trying to play off the whole idea of true love right under your nose. Does it do it? Maybe. Director Steven Herek (Mr. Hollands Opus, The Mighty Ducks, Rock Star) tried his hand at making another wonderful film but this time just seemed to fall just shy of making it great. Wonderfully casted, the film has potential, but overall that potential was wasted. Jolie, although worth looking at on the screen just doesn’t cut it in this film. Yes, I believe she is a good actress don’t get me worng, but putting a great actress in this role doesn’t make it any better than it can be with a crappy plot. Ed Burns (15 Minutes) is a man I am quickly beginning to like more and more as an actor and want to see more of him on the big screen in the future. He may not be the best actor but there is something that he brings to the screen that makes a movie worth watching. However, cast isn’t everything in a great film. Life or something Like it lacked storyline. It tried to play on the idea of a flashback, so right from the start you know Jolie’s character was going to have a near death experience. And as if it is no surprise Jolie suddenly finds her true love for life and others near the end, so of course how can you die when something like that happens?

So was the film worth the $$$$? My answer, no. Maybe a dollar theater or a rental, but this film just didn’t hold up. It was WAY too cheesy and with an extremely predictable and meaningless plot, Life or Something Like It is just another film that will get mixed reviews from viewers and critics. Overall, I think the movie did teach me something though, I will give it that. It taught me that the end of your life can come at any time, and all I can say is Dear God, please don’t let me die watching mediocre films in a movie theater.

Jason X

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Starring: Kane Hodder, Lexia Doig, Chuck Campbell
Directed By: James Isaac
Rated: Rated R for strong horror violence, language and some sexuality

Final Grade:

Jason Voorphes is back and once again a killing machine. When a group of space travelers come across a ship of the past, they find two people frozen inside. Realizing that they could thaw them out and hopefully learn more about the past, they thaw them out, only to find out that by doing so they will never make it home alive.

Jason X was bad. Plain and simple. Movies 12 didn’t even get it. It’s been rumored that Varsity II will get it, but even that is unsure. I was lucky enough to see a screener copy so I could laugh my ass off in the privacy of my own home. I know the Jason series is supposed to be trashy, no polt slasher films, but there is a line that some people didn’t just step over, but instead ran over it and kept going forward. I’m also convinced that a sign of a bad movie in a series is when they put them in space. Think about it. Muppets in Space. Leprachaun 4: Lepracaun in space… ect. Now chalk up one more bad movie, Jason X. Jason in space. Even the special effects are horrid. Most of the movie relies on suspense that just isn’t there. You never see any actual deaths, just a few off screen screams, and assumed deaths. Had they spent some more money on that rather than the explosions, it might not have been that bad. Still horrid, but not that bad.

Jason X isn’t worth the $6.25 even if you found it on the street. If someone bought me a ticket for it, or if I found a ticket for it, instead of using it for a free movie, I’d return it to the box office for a refund. Jason X was bad, but hey it could be worse. What you don’t believe me? How about Scorpion King 3: Scorpion King in Space. See I guess it can get worse!

Murder by Numbers

Film Review By Jason L. King

Starring: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Gossling, Ben Chaplin
Directed By: Barbet Schroder
Rated: Rated R for violence, language, a sex scene and brief drug use

Final Grade:

Cassie Mayweather (Sandra Bullock) and her new partner Sam Kennedy (Ben Chaplin) are in charge of finding the killers in a homicide case. What they don’t know is that they will find themeselves working against two brilliant young men (Ryan Gosling and Michael Pitt.) Although Cassie knows they are the true killers, she must engage in a battle of wits and hardnosed investigation to try and find the truth behind the homicide.

Both Ryan Gosling (Remember the Titans) and Michael Pitt are wonderful on the screen. They play their roles brilliantly, and give us a near flawless performance. Sandra Bullock on the other hand is just another pretty face with a big name. Any female actor could have played this role, except for maybe Whoopi Goldberg. However, Ben Chaplin (Birthday Girl) who plays Bullock’s partner does a decent job as a supporting role and make the film worth taking a look at. The plot seems to be lacking something, and drags on for what seems like forever. The plot tries to add an interesting twist when they begin to have Sandra Bullock do flashbacks to a previous related event in her life, but this seemed more of a hinderence to the plot rather than an advancement.

Overall, Murder by Numbers was an ok film but the the “numbers” just didn’t add up or if nothing else added up to be a negative number. It had potential to be a Great film, but finished off as a mediocre film. Is it worth your $6.25? Probably not. Is it worth ever checking it out? Sure is.

The Scorpion King

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Starring: The Rock, Michael Clarke Duncan, Steven Brand
Directed By: Chuck Russell
Rated: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action violence and some sensuality

Final Grade:

Where do I even start with this? The Scorpion King was supposed to be the prequel to the summer blockbusters “The Mummy” and “The Mummy Returns.” The story of the Scorpion King was built up during the beginnings and the end of the Mummy Returns, but the whole idea must have been just thrown out the window, because the main plot of this movie is a Prequel to the prequel of “the Mummy Returns.” In other words, anything you knew about the story from the other 2 movies really doesn’t have anything to do with this one. Director Chuck Russell who has brought us other wonderful films such as Eraser and Nightmare on Elm Street 3 (Do you sense sarcasm?) tries to make a good film out of material that was doomed from the start. The Rock is a great actor in the ring, but in this role is nothing more than a joke. Having him play The Scorpion King is nothing more than an embarassment to his career. Special effects that were meant to be cool, only made the movie slightly better, but the effects were so overshadowed by the worthless plot and the crappy dialouge that you nearly forgot they were there.

Sure, The Scorpion King will do well beacuse of the “Millions and Millions of the Rock’s Fans” that pay to see him act on the big screen, but the truth is It doesn’t matter what they think. The film was a waste of time. I saw the film, “I smelled what the Rock was cookin’” and frankly it stunk. I want that 1 hour and 1/2 of my life back.

The Sweetest Thing

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate, Selma Blair
Directed By:Roger Kumble
Rated:Rated R for strong sexual content and language

Final Grade:

Christina Walters (Cameron Diaz) is a girl who is afraid of men. She has the looks, and the brains to have a great relationship, but her fear keeps her from obtaining the perfect guy. Then she meets the perfect guy. And after parting without planning to meet again, she realizes she wants to see him again. So she travels with her friends to find the man of her dreams before its too late

Don’t get me wrong everyone. I love Cameron Diaz. But there are some films the girl just shouldn’t do. I loved her in Something About Mary. But this attempt at the same type of film is going to attract girls thinking its a happy chick flick, but instead they will get a sick and perverted story that just honestly wasn’t worth the cash. many of the scenes seemed as though they were simply trying to hard. It was so predictable, and so atrociously bad in parts that I had a hard time sitting through it. Unfortunately, The Sweetest Thing tried to be the next Something About Mary and just plain missed the boat all together.

I almost feel bad for typing a review like this, but I honeslty can’t say much about this film. The acting was mediocre, the camera work as well, a weak storyline and even worse so many bad jokes an perverse ideas it just wasn’t even entertaining.

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