Archive for March, 2002

Death To Smoochy

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted March 29, 2002 at 2:30 am

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Starring: Robin Williams, Edward Norton, Catherine Keener, Danny DeVito, Jon Stewart
Directed By: Danny DeVito
Rated: Rated R for language and sexual references

Final Grade:
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Rainbow Randolph (Robin Williams) was at the pinnacle of his career in children’s television. And then he was placed under arrest. He finds himself losing everything, including his career to what he considers a second rate Children’s character, Smoochy the Purple Rhino (Edward Norton). Knowing that he can never beat out Smoochy and regain his spot in the spotlight of children’s television, he plots to kill him instead.

Death to Smoochy was quite possibly one of the cleverest dark comedies I have ever seen. The film was filled with one liners, and song that not only stayed in your head, but completely trashed on an entire past genre of children’s entertainment. Smoochy just so happens to look exact rip off of Barney the Dinosaur. Danny Devito does a wonderful job in directing this film, and I was amazed that something with such a pointless simplistic plot could be that entertaining. Edward Norton as always is a pleasure to see on the screen, as well as Robin Williams. The two of them paired together was brilliant. The satire in the story was well done, and the whole concept of giving children’s programming a dark underground twist is something only a man as twisted as Devito and friends could think of.

Death to Smoochy is my movie of the week. I’ll admit I am sucker for Edward Norton Movies, but this one is great. I have a feeling it will someday become one of those cult classics, but as for now just isn’t going to do well in the box office. Go check it out though, its worth a chance, and you’ll probably laugh a few times. If nothing else, the mere chance to reminisce the days of Barney the purple dinosaur and laugh at our past ideas of entertainment makes the movie worth all the while. I know Ebert hated the movie, and who knows maybe even the Toons guy too, but whom are you going to believe…Them or me? Yeah, I know you picked them, but I had to give it a shot….

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Filed under: Comedy, Movies

The Rookie

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted at 2:16 am

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Starring: Dennis Quaid, Jay Hernandez, Brian Cox
Directed By: John Lee Hancock
Rated: G For Happy Disney stuff

Final Grade:

The Rookie is the story of one man who learns to follow his dream from a group of kids, and finds himself in the major leagues. Based on the True Story of Jim Morris, a former High School Science Teacher, who just also happens to have a 98 MPH fastball. Whn he promised his High Shcool Baseball team that he will try out for the majors if they start winning, he never expected to be trying out, let alone on a major league mound.

The Best way to describe this movie is DISNEY. It has it written all over it. Just as they managed to solve racism through football in Remeber the Titans, The Rookie is a “feel good” film. It’s rated G and everyone knows the story before it begins. Not saying that it wasn’t a great flick, but just overall didn’t hold up to being anything spectacular. Dennis Quaid does a decent job, but the movie overall needed some help on casting. Somehow for a high school baseball team, their opponents always looked like 30 year old men, and none of the supporting actors or atresses gave Quaid that extra boost to make his role stand out in my mind.

The Rookie wasn’t a bad movie, nor was it really good. I thought it was way too predictable, way to fake, and overall just way too good to be true. It is a great movie if you love baseball, and love the type of movies where you are told to follow your dreams, but the G rated Disney “Happily Ever After” Twist, just makes it slide from a great film to a good one.

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Filed under: Drama, Movies, Sports

Panic Room

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted at 1:55 am

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Starring:Jodie Foster
Directed By: David Fincher
Rated: Rated PG-13 for violence, languages and people panicking in rooms

Final Grade:

Meg Altman (Jodie Foster) and her daughter are going through tough times. Her husband has left her, and in the process of finding a new home they stumble across an old house, with a mysterious Panic Room inside, designed to keep anyone from entering it once someone is locked inside. When 3 men try to find a forgotten about Millionare’s secret stash in the house, Meg runs into the panic room for safety. Little did she know, their fortune lies in the room with her, and the men will not stop until they get it.

When I saw the preview for Panic Room, I thought it was going to be a mediocre film but hoped that it would prove me wrong. But when I heard that it was directed by David Fincher (Fight Club) I became more psyched for the movie. However, even the maker of a brillant film as fight club makes his slew of Soon Forgotten Films. Supposedly suspenseful, the movie revolved around Jodie Foster trying to call for help while trapped in the room that her assailants want in. Apparently it never occured to her that she probably could have just given them the money and they would have left, nor did it ever occur to her that she could run out for help while they argued amongst themselves. It seemed the only time this occured to her was at the most inoppertune time, so she was forced to retreat back to her panic room barely escaping. Fincher tried to play up one of the robbers, Burnham, (Forrest Whitaker) as “criminal with a heart” only doing this to save his family, but that only made the movie more predicable.

Panic Room can be summed up as one of those suspense movies that you’ll see today and forget by next week. Its predictable plot (or lack there of) leaves you feel like you are missing something, and almost seems cheesy in spots. It’s really sad that the main character had to be a female, so Jodie Foster was casted. This would have been a role John Travolta would have given his firstborn son for. (For those of you who don’t know me, thats NOT a compliment!) Overall, it’s not worth your money, at least not while its playing for $6.25, check it out at the $1 theater if you must.

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Filed under: Movies, Suspense

Blade 2

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted March 22, 2002 at 11:43 pm

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Starring:Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Ron Perlman 
Directed By:Guillermo del Toro 
Rated: Rated R for strong pervasive violence, language, some and drug use 

Final Grade: 

Half human, Half Vampire, all killing machine. Blade Returns to the big screen this weekend, with the slayer in a new time, where he must learn the importance of keeping your friends close, but your enemies closer. When Blade’s enemies approach him for his aid in fighting a new breed of Super Vampires that will destroy both mankind and vampires, Blade is forced to join them in their slaying quest, which leads them into a continuous spiral of action.

Blade 2 was one of the most promising sequels I have seen in a while. I was very skeptical going into the film, especially since I saw that Kris Kristofferson would return. However, the writers managed to make his return to the story, fairly believable. Blade’s new partner in slaying is no Kristofferson, so it was nice to have Kristofferson back. The only problem with the movie is that Blade must have solved the “Serum” problem he was having in the first movie, since it was never even an issue in the sequel. Snipes no BS, “ass kicking” attitude is just as entertaining as the first one, and the death count is higher, but I’m not sure if that gave Blade 2 it’s overall edge. The special effects, and the decent plot made the movie, however by the time blade slays the 20th Vampire you start to wish for a new sort of effect.

Blade overall was like I stated earlier one of the best sequels I had seen in a while. A decent flick to check out in theaters especially if you enjoyed the first one. A little less plot, and a lot more martial arts and action makes Blade lack something that makes it a great, but it’s enough to make Blade fans wish for yet another movie in the series… 

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Filed under: Action, Comic Book, Movies, Science Fiction

Sorority Boys

  • Written by Box Office Boredom
  • Posted at 6:08 am

A Film Review By Jason L. King

Starring: Barry watson, Michael Rossenbaum
Directed By: Wallace Wolodarsky
Rated: Rated R for crude sexual content, nudity, strong language and some drug use

Final Grade:

When 3 guys are accused of stealing their frat brother money from the house safe they are kicked out of the house. So they find themselves homeless. They solve their problem by dressing up like women and joining a sorority house full of Sorority rejects, where the boys learn about women and even more about themselves.

Sounds heartwarming doesn’t it? It wasn’t. In the genre of pointless humor that fits in the category or Not Another Teen Movie and Scary Movie, this one just doesn’t cut it either. The acting was mediocre, and the humor all relies on mostly sexual themes. I don’t think I really need to say more when I say they had to rely on a Star Wars light saber fight using dildos.

Overall, I’d have to give it a mediocre rating. I’m going to be generous and give it a a C, since I laughed at a times, and I gave a really good rating to other movies in that genre, such as Not Another Teen Movie, and I do feel Sorority Boys probably surpasses that film. However, when I look at the grand scheme of things, I have to look at it as is it worth the movie goer’s $7 ticket? The answer is a simple no.

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Filed under: Comedy, Movies
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