Smackdown Review (November 28, 2014)

Spoilers follow for the November 28th episode of Smackdown.

Smackdown opens with an episode of Miz TV. It continues to be funny to see people boo The Miz and cheer for Damien Sandow. Miz welcomes Big Show down to the ring, because what we need is more Big Show mic time. Wait, no, that’s not it at all. We need less of that. Big Show begins to explain his actions, but he’s interrupted by Daniel Bryan. Because we need more of Daniel Bryan on the mic. Wait, no, the opposite of that, too. Bryan is the GM of the night, because it went over so well last time. He makes some matches. One of which a battle royal for the United States Championship, because Rusev never did say the Pledge of Allegiance. That’s next.

United States Championship Battle Royal

I’m glad we got this match, although it wasn’t against “everyone on the roster” like Bryan claimed on Raw. Instead, it’s Rusev against 19 other midcard wrestlers. It’s your standard battle royal; these things are all pretty much the same. Rusev retains after eliminating Jack Swagger last. A highlight included Damien Sandow eliminating himself after The Miz was taken out.

Match Rating: **1/2

Kane is then shown selling merchandise to children. He’s still Concessions Kane, I guess. Santino Marella tries to buy something, but Kane scares him off.

After the commercial break, Bray Wyatt is out to cut a Bray Wyatt promo. It’s … what you expect. Wyatt talks about how he and Ambrose just don’t belong. And then some other stuff. I don’t know, man. Wyatt is so good at talking and yet his promos are doing nothing for me.

Emma vs. Nikki Bella (with Brie Bella)

Nikki squashes Emma. It’s not even close. Emma got in a slap and one move. The rest was all Nikki, although “the rest” amounted to about four moves total.

Match Rating: *1/2

Brie continues to support her sister without any reason. She’s not even “Cinderbella” anymore; she’s just supporting Nikki because she’s supporting Nikki. Nikki cuts a promo after the match. It’s good. It’s an anti-AJ Lee promo, but not particularly heel-ish. After a mic drop, AJ comes out. She attacks Brie while Nikki escapes.

Another backstage segment shows the kiosk at which Kane was working. It’s destroyed. And then Ryback has his entrance. The implications are clear, maybe.

Ryback vs. Seth Rollins (with Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble)

Finally, a real wrestling match. It only took two thirds of the show before we got one. Ryback dominates the early portion of the match, before Rollins takes control. This is a fun back-and-forth contest, and probably one of Ryback’s best matches on free TV. Or, it would’ve been if Kane didn’t interfere. He does so, causing Rollins to take a DQ loss.

Match Rating: ***

Kane beats up Ryback after the match. He hits several chair shots and then a chokeslam onto the steel chair, which looked like it was off by a bit, as Ryback didn’t land on the flat part of the chair. Oops.

Slater Gator (Titus O’Neil and Heath Slater) and Curtis Axel vs. The New Day (Kofi Kingston, Xavier Woods, and Big E)

Apparently “The New Day” is going to be a face stable. That’s … kind of weird. I thought they were going to be heel, even if their vignettes have been very face-like. It seemed like a Bo Dallas type of thing. They think they’re faces, but they’re not. That’s not how it’s going to happen, though, apparently.

The match is relatively exciting, mostly thanks to Woods and Kingston. Big E is the muscle, which allows the high-flyers to do their thing, and sometimes get lifted into their flying. The New Day wins, as you’d expect. They look like they’re having fun.

Match Rating: **1/2

Daniel Bryan is interviewed backstage, and he makes a match for the TLC PPV. Ryback vs. Kane in a Chairs Match. Goldust and Stardust do their weird thing next, which is … weird.

Intercontinental Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper

Ziggler and Harper did really well the first time they faced off, but this time is less impressive. They’re not given enough time, for one; this is a bout that needs 15 minutes to give us a truly special match. What we get is good, but the finish is a shame and the time most certainly works against them. Harper winds up losing by count out, which from a booking perspective works well, as it lets both men stay strong but doesn’t give us a title change, yet for the match is a disappointment.

Match Rating: **1/2

Harper attacks Ziggler after the match. Harper grabs his belt and goes to hit Ziggler with it, but he’s ducked and then hit with the Zig Zag. That concludes Smackdown.

The Good: Ryback/Rollins. Nikki’s promo.

The Bad: Emma/Nikki.

Match of the Night: Ryback vs. Seth Rollins.


The Babadook

It’s rare that poor acting is a benefit to a film. I’m not sure if it is with The Babadook, but the most lasting thought I have from this Australian horror film is the poor acting from one of its leads. In this particular case, it’s Noah Wiseman, who plays a young child named Samuel. Kids usually suck at acting — they just do — but this might be the most annoying movie kid since Dakota Fanning in War of the Worlds. They both try to go for the screaming record, anyway.

I note that this might be beneficial because you’re not really supposed to be on the side of the child in this movie. He’s a little crazy and not particularly nice, so it’s okay that we lose patience with him because of poor acting, too. Instead, we’re following his mother, Amelia (Essie Davis), who eventually goes full Piper Laurie mode, as she deals with his antics and the ever-present grief of losing her husband … seven years ago. The anniversary is coming up, which also coincides with Samuel’s birthday, since the husband died driving Amelia to the airport to give birth. How’d she eventually make it? No clue, and it doesn’t matter.

One night, Amelia reads a bedtime story to her son. It’s about someone named Mr. Babadook, and it’s something on which her son begins to fixate. It’s a scary story, one which claims that Mr. Babadook will come and get you, and you’ll never get rid of him. Samuel begins acting out more than usual, so Amelia rips up the book, thinking that’ll be the end of it. It’s not, of course, and soon enough she has a monster on her hands.

The only things we have to see now are two-fold. (1) Does the monster really exist, or is it a manifestation of the grief that Amelia feels for losing her husband and the annoyance she feels toward her son. (2) What will Mr. Babadook do to our heroine and those around her? Will it just scare everyone for a while, or will it wind up following through on the book’s threats and harm or kill anyone and everyone into whom she comes into contact?

The answers? You’ll have to watch to find out. I’ll spoil the first one a touch and say that Mr. Babadook is not purely allegorical, which is a shame because I think we might have a better, more thoughtful movie if he was. Once we find out that the monster exists, doesn’t that kind of mean that all of the guilt-induced stuff wasn’t really guilt-induced at all? It was all caused by a monster? That really doesn’t make The Babadook particularly smart or thoughtful at all, except that it tried to scare us with lies. And, well, at least there’s that.

The Babadook is sometimes scary, and that it makes us think about real-world problems — and presents them in a terrifying way — does make it better than your average horror movie. But just keep in mind that your average horror movie sucks, and having a little bit of thoughtfulness or intelligence is only half the battle. The film still needs to be scary, which The Babadook only intermittently is. The first 45 minutes are pretty dull, and once we find out Mr. Babadook is just a monster, he gets significantly less interesting. There’s maybe 20-30 minutes of actual great film here; the rest is competent but nothing special.

One consistently great element is Essie Davis, who has to show quite the range in this role. She has to go from caring mother to possessed-by-a-monster-and-spewing-hatred in just a couple of scenes, and fill in the rest over the course of the film’s duration. She also has to act alongside Noah Wiseman, awful as the kid, for most of the film, which must have been a challenge on its own.

The Babadook is better than your average horror movie, since it lies to you and makes you think it’s about real-life horrors and not those of a monster-hiding-in-the-closet variety, and in doing so becomes thought-provoking and genuinely scary. Sure, it doesn’t exactly turn out that way, but at least for a good 20-30 minutes, it does this and is very effective. The rest of the movie is competent and the lead actor, Essie Davis, is really great. Her co-star, Noah Wiseman, is not, but it makes you hate his character which actually works out fine. The Babadook is not a must-see, but for horror fans it’ll be something worth watching.



Since the release of Deep Throat in 1972, there has been much discussion about the life of Linda Lovelace, here played by Amanda Seyfried, perhaps the first “well-known” star of pornography. There have been musicals — seriously — documentaries, an autobiography, and now Lovelace, a fictional biopic which paints Linda as an innocent victim who was forced into the life that wound up making her famous. It’s also about as generic as a film like this one could possibly be, likely because Linda’s life isn’t one that works well as a conventional film.

Lovelace details its star’s early life. We see her first in an uptight house, and then later living with an abusive man named Chuck Traynor (Peter Sarsgaard) who winds up forcing her to participate in Deep Throat given that she, well, you can probably figure it out. He needs money, she thinks she’s in love, and the rest spirals out of control from there. The film then checks off rise-and-fall clichés left and right before eventually becoming so dull that even its somewhat controversial subject matter isn’t enough to hold our attention.

Almost none of this works. Almost every line of dialogue seems to want us to feel pity for Linda, and everyone else seems so disgusting that this might have worked. But when it all feels so generic and predictable, it’s hard to really care. Everything seems to happen so we can move from one cliché to the next. Nothing feels real or true — even if it is — and as a result it’s hard to emotionally invest in its proceedings.

The point of a movie like this one is to shine some light into the life of its lead, and Lovelace doesn’t do that. It forces her account of her life — it might not be based on her book but it takes her side in a disputed subject — into a narrative structure that we’ve seen time and time again in made-for-TV dramas. The only reason that this film is even allowed to be theatrically released is because it’s about a pornography star, and perhaps because of its depiction of domestic abuse.

Not only does the film not make any big revelations or points about Linda’s life, but it also constantly distracts us with fairly well-known actors showing up in supporting roles. Sharon Stone and Robert Patrick play Linda’s parents, Adam Brody plays her Deep Throat co-star, James Franco shows up as Hugh Hefner — no, really — and the likes of Wes Bentley, Juno Temple, Eric Roberts, Chloë Sevigny and Hank Azaria show up. Most of these actors aren’t box office draws but you recognize them and it takes you out of what’s supposed to be about Linda.

It’s as if the filmmakers knew they weren’t making a picture that was in any way involving, so they figured that throwing in a cameo from someone you recognize would hold our attention. “Hey, it’s James Franco. And he’s playing Hugh Hefner. Look at us! We’re still relevant. Pay attention. Wake up. Stop looking at your cell phone.” I think I checked the time every five minutes after Lovelace got rolling. Maybe it was every three. I’ve not been this bored by a movie that had this much potential in a long time.

If there’s a part of Lovelace that succeeds it’s the way that it manages to take us back to the 1970s rather effectively. From the clothes to the dialogue, this movie does feel like it is taking place in the time period it wants to. There’s a scene where people go roller skating. That isn’t a popular pastime anymore. It was then, so it’s appropriate for the characters to go there. The music also helps set the mood. Not much is done with the setting — no observations are made, for example — but it does at least feel authentic.

Here are three better ways you can learn about Linda Lovelace. (1) You can read her biography on Wikipedia. This is probably the most time-efficient method. (2) You can watch Inside Deep Throat, which has interviews about that film’s history. (3) You can read Linda’s autobiography, Ordeal, although keep in mind that many of her claims are disputed. She passed a polygraph prior to its publication but those can be inaccurate or beaten.

Whatever faults Lovelace has do not come from Amanda Seyfried or Peter Sarsgaard. Seyfried gets “uglied up” for the role and seems fine with the requisite nudity, and when she’s not having to act scared for her life, she’s very good in the role. Sarsgaard hits the right balance between controlling sociopath and seducer. You can almost see why Linda would do these things for him. The script forces the actors into one-note roles by the end; Linda is pathetic and Sarsgaard is a villain without any depth or complexity.

Lovelace is a dull and generic, and unless you’ve already exhausted all other methods for learning about Linda Lovelace, you have no reason to seek it out. It doesn’t contain the depth or insight that a good biopic needs; instead, it forces Linda’s life into the clichés of the genre. I was immensely bored by this movie, even with the cameos from notable actors like James Franco, who shows up and does a terrible job as Hugh Hefner. I can’t get over that. If not for its subject matter, this would be a film relegated to television. Don’t give it your time.


Horrible Bosses 2

You remember how Horrible Bosses wasn’t really a film that lent itself to a sequel, right? It was a movie about a group of guys sick of their bosses. Mostly, they just hung around and talked, although there was also a murder plan put in place. It ended, it was over, the story didn’t have anywhere to go, and that was that. Then news broke that a sequel was in the cards, and it turned out that wasn’t a joke. Horrible Bosses 2 is here.

I have some good news: Horrible Bosses 2 is just as completely mediocre as the original. It has some funny moments, it passes the time relatively well, and it’s not as raunchy as it wishes it was. Almost anything that could be said about the original film applies here as well, except perhaps for how the sequel tries to shoe-horn in the still-alive bosses from the previous film, primarily Jennifer Aniston’s sex-addict character. She actually becomes one of the most-seen actors in this movie, which came as a surprise to me. I thought that maybe she and Kevin Spacey would get cameos. Spacey gets two scenes; Aniston might have 10.

The film begins as Nick (Jason Bateman), Kurt (Jason Sudeikis) and Dale (Charlie Day) decide to start their own business. They’ve created the “shower buddy,” whose purpose I really can’t disclose. It’s not dirty; I just don’t want to waste the words. They go to a businessman, Burt Hanson (Christoph Waltz), with the idea, and he orders 100,000 units. But, after the units are made, the order is withdrawn. In a week or two, Nick, Kurt, and Dale need to pay their lease, and since they won’t be able to, they’ll go bankrupt, and Burt can buy their company for dirt cheap. What a ploy.

Obviously, Burt needs to be dealt with. They’re not planning on killing him, but instead decide to kidnap his son, Rex (Chris Pine), and extort the money out of him that way. They mess it up, but Rex winds up kidnapped anyway — because he kidnaps himself and threatens to “escape” and call the police if they don’t go along with it. He’s a little crazy. You can probably guess where the plot will go from here, but there are a couple of surprises along the way, which was a nice addition.

It’s still not the funniest or raunchiest movie that you’re going to see. It’s not in the least bit intelligent, and its 110-minute running time is about 20 minutes too long. But you won’t be bored for most of the time it plays, it’ll give you some really solid laughs, some groans, and will be worth your time if you really liked the characters from the last film and would like to see more of them.

That’s essentially all that it comes down to. The humor is more of the same — different jokes, obviously, but it’s the same type of humor, and whether or not you enjoy it will largely depend on if you liked the first one — the characters mostly are the same, and the situation is familiar, but just different enough to justify calling Horrible Bosses 2 a sequel and not a remake. Outside of that, you can probably figure out if you should see Horrible Bosses 2 on your own. You don’t need me telling you that it’s just kind of mediocre, since that’s exactly what I thought of the original.

The funniest scenes are Spacey’s, and his two whole scenes almost made me want to go back and re-watch the original just to see if he was that funny in it, too. Batemen, Sudeikis, and Day have a good chemistry and play well off one another, which means that most of the film is inherently watchable just because it has them. Aniston talks dirty and that’s that, Pine is always better as the crazy man than as the straight man, and Waltz is way too good to be in this, but then he was also in The Green Hornet, so who am I to judge?

Horrible Bosses 2 is every way as good, bad, and mediocre as its predecessor. What you thought of the first Horrible Bosses is likely what you’re going to think of its sequel. It’s slightly raunchy, somewhat profane, and moderately funny, even if its 110-minute running time is too long for the level of humor that it sustains. Its actors are good and commit to their characters and it’s not like it’ll be likely to bore you. Is that a recommendation? Maybe.


Raw Review (November 24, 2014)

Spoilers follow for the November 24th episode of Raw.

Survivor Series might have been a lackluster in-ring PPV, but it’s going to be remembered by some fans forever because of one main thing: Sting finally made his debut on WWE television, and in doing so ensured that The Authority was disbanded. That’s a pretty big deal, and since post-PPV Raws are usually good anyway, we could be in for quite the show tonight.

The Authority opens the show for what’s supposed to be the last time. Stephanie is on the mic first, and tells us that The Authority would have won had Sting not interfered. Well, it’s true, but The Authority would’ve lost if Triple H didn’t interfere anyway, so there you go. She eventually begins to tear up, which lets Triple H get on the mic. He tells us to be careful what we wished for. Nobody can handle the power The Authority had. Well, somehow I doubt that. He thinks WWE will go under in 2-3 weeks. Triple H strings a lot of words together with unmatched intensity. It’s great to see.

Daniel Bryan’s music hits and he does his “Yes!” chants all the way to the ring, and then in the ring. Triple H and Stephanie leave. Bryan follows them and continues to do the “Yes!” chants all the way to the end of the segment. Or, at least, it takes us to the commercial break. Bryan gets back into the ring during the commercial break with a mic, and starts talking. Apparently he’s been put in charge of running Raw tonight. He brings out Team Authority. He’s putting them all in matches, but he claims they’re going to be fair. Seth Rollins be teamed with two other Superstars to face John Cena and Dolph Ziggler in a handicap match. Bryan’s going to let the WWE Universe pick Rollins’ tag team partners. He gives us three choices. One of them is Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury. So you know what’s going to happen. Noble and Mercury in their first match in years. I’m legitimately excited.

Bryan then turns his attention to Kane. Bryan makes Kane’s new job the director of food and beverage. He’s not “corporate Kane”; he’s “concessions Kane.” He gets to sell popcorn tonight. Poor Kane.

Rusev and Lana are next. Bryan thinks Rusev should be more patriotic, as the United States champion. Rusev is given two choices: (1) a company-wide battle royal for his championship or (2) he must come down to the ring and recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

Luke Harper is put in a match against Dean Ambrose for the Intercontinental Championship.

Mark Henry is last, and he’s put in a match against Ryback. That match is next.

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

The two men brawl a bit before the match even gets a chance to start, because Daniel Bryan took forever delivering that promo and therefore we need a commercial break, during which Henry can sell getting beaten up by Ryback.

Henry sells concussion-like symptoms, Ryback squashes him and gets a pinfall with the Meat Hook Clothesline.

Match Rating: *

Triple H and Stephanie are seen backstage. They run into Vince McMahon, and apologize for letting him down. Vince is disappointed but he doesn’t want to hear the word “sorry.” All three leave the building in a limo, because The Authority will be really hurting for money after getting “removed from power.”

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper

This is a match that starts out slower than one might expect, but it does contain a couple of good moments and it’s not like you can tell who’s going to win beforehand. That’s always a bonus. The match lets Ambrose show off more than Harper, which is too bad, but we’ll survive. The match gets better as it goes on, which the good matches do.

Harper tries to leave with his championship at one point, but Ambrose stops him by diving outside. The finish comes when Harper shoved Ambrose into the referee, and the referee called for a disqualification. The announcers tell us it’s Harper who was disqualified, but it doesn’t matter because Harper retains the championship. What a dumb finish.

Match Rating: ***

Ambrose gets a chair after the match and hits a Dirty Deeds onto a steel chair. Then Ambrose gets a ladder and a table, because he’s the one who’s going to promote the next PPV. But Bray Wyatt ambushes Ambrose before he can do anything else, hitting a Sister Abigail outside the ring. Then he throws Ambrose across the announcer’s table and buries him under a pile of chairs, mimicking what Ambrose did last night.

Larry the Cable Guy and Santino Marella are out next. They’re promoting Jingle All The Way 2, which is out soon. Larry is out without a shirt and with a Rey Mysterio mask. He eventually takes the mask off, and tries to make jokes. Goldust and Stardust then come out to the stage. They’re in action next.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Goldust and Stardust vs. The Miz and Damien Sandow

Once again, the early story becomes everyone wanting Sandow to get tagged in, and events preventing that from happening. Sandow’s antics at ringside are hilarious and overshadow the rest of the match.

Sandow eventually gets in the match, as Miz looks like he might have been legitimately hurt. He’s looked at by a doctor as the match goes on, anyway. Sandow becomes an underdog, which only benefits him more. Sandow gets beaten up for most of this portion of the match. But, it turns out that Miz was faking it, and after a blind tag, he hits his finisher on Stardust to retain the titles.

Match Rating: **1/2

A backstage segment with Concessions Kane happens. His manager talks down to him. It’s supposed to be funny. It’s sad.

Rusev and Lana are in the ring next. Rusev has to decide whether he’ll do a battle royal or say the Pledge of Allegiance. Lana asks what kind of country forces its will upon its people, leading to a hilarious moment lacking in all sense of self-awareness. Rusev grabs the mic and say she and Lana are going. Daniel Bryan shows up on the big screen and says he can send down a referee right now and start the battle royal. Bryan sends down Sgt. Slaughter to supervise the Pledge of Allegiance. Slaughter tells Rusev to repeat after him. Lana tries to whisper her way through it. Wasn’t it supposed to be Rusev doing this? When we get to the “to the United States of America” part, the mic is dropped. Rusev backs Slaughter into a corner. But Jack Swagger comes out and attacks Rusev, but he doesn’t even land a blow until Rusev goes for a running move. So, do we get a battle royal now? Apparently not. Because WWE logic isn’t good.

Kane is shown handing out popcorn, but Santino and Larry the Cable Guy come to his stand. Kane covers Santino with mustard, and gives Larry the hot dog. “Funny.”

Justin Gabriel vs. Fandango (with Rosa Mendes)

This match happened on the pre-show yesterday. I didn’t see it, but I heard it was mediocre. This match, too, was mediocre. It was a squash outside of a couple of high-flying moves from Gabriel that Fandango no-sold. Fandango hits a flying leg drop for the win.

Match Rating: *1/2

Big Show is out after the commercial break. He turned heel last night, in case you missed it, which was approximately his 7,000th heel turn over his career. Big Show asks the crowd if we’re “cool” with him. Big Show’s not a bad guy, he says; he’s just a human being who made a mistake. He still hates The Authority. He made a snap decision and panicked. We’re supposed to forget about last night. The fans aren’t having it. So he gets mean, and keeps the heel turn. Big Show asks anyone who has something to say to come down and say it to him. So Erick Rowan comes down. Big Show mocks him. Rowan tells Big Show that he doesn’t like bullies, and then he attacks Big Show, leading to Big Show escaping. This is the kind of feud Rowan needs. Getting a rub from Big Show can only help him.

Seth Rollins is seen backstage talking to Noble and Mercury. They’re pumped, he clearly isn’t. Dolph Ziggler interrupts. Ziggler believes in J & J Security. Ziggler asked his Twitter followers to vote for them. Rollins is not happy.

Brie Bella (with Nikki Bella) vs. AJ Lee

AJ comes out with a microphone, cutting a great sarcastic promo. We still have no explanation as to why the Bellas are now happy-go-lucky in one another’s company.

Brie and AJ wrestle the match we wish AJ and Nikki had last night. Well, it’s not quite as good as what Nikki and AJ probably could’ve done together, but it’s solid in its own right. Nikki distracts AJ and Brie does a fancy roll up for the win. For a Divas’ match, this was good.

Match Rating: ***

AJ is furious after the match, cutting a scathing anti-Bella promo. We continue to have no idea why Brie and Nikki are getting along. It’d make sense if the feud against AJ is what unites them, but no indication has been made.

Tyson Kidd and Natalya vs. Adam Rose and The Bunny

Santino Marella and Larry the Cable Guy are on commentary.

Why is Natalya in this match? It doesn’t make any sense. The Bunny and Kidd start the match, but then Natalya asks to be tagged in. Natalya pities the bunny, but Kidd tags himself back in. Shenanigans happen, Rose is rolled up and it’s somehow The Bunny’s fault.

Match Rating: *1/2

Nothing comes of that. Ryback is interviewed backstage instead. Ryback makes a food joke, which concludes just a terrible segment.

This leads to the post-commercial segment in which Ryback visits Kane’s concession stand. Kane throws a hot dog wiener at him. They have a food fight. I can’t believe this is a real thing.

Renee Young then interviews John Cena and Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler is quiet, Cena is loud, and neither says anything important.

Dolph Ziggler and John Cena vs. Seth Rollins, Jamie Noble, and Joey Mercury

Daniel Bryan comes out after Ziggler and Cena make their entrances. He introduces Seth Rollins first, and then we get to see the results of the poll. It’s Mercury and Noble, as we all expected. The only question is whether or not Noble and Mercury will get to wrestle well, like they can, or if WWE will force them to look inept.

It starts as the former, but after the commercial break settles into the later. Noble does way more work in this match than one might expect him to, and actually looks like he could still tango on a weekly basis. Mercury is used less and looks less comfortable. The match isn’t good, but it wasn’t an atrocity. Cena and Ziggler hit their finishers on Noble and Mercury and win with a double pin. I think Cena and Mercury were legal.

Match Rating: **

Daniel Bryan forces Seth Rollins back into the ring and a superkick and Attitude Adjustment later, “Yes!” chants run rampant. Bryan is still over. But, just as the show was looking to end, an email is sent to the Raw General Manager podium, because we have an anonymous Raw general manager again. Oh, no. Michael Cole reads it. Next Monday, order and discipline will return to Raw. Okay.

The Good: Ambrose/Harper. Brie/AJ. AJ’s mic work. Jamie Noble.

The Bad: Henry/Ryback. Gabriel/Fandango. Kidd & Natalya/Rose & Bunny. Anonymous GM. Larry the Cable Guy.

Match of the Night: Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee.