It is on this day in history, October 31, 2014, that I remember The Boogeyman, and how he never really had a good match while in the WWE, but his character was fun and I miss him. WWE has kept him around, kind of, to do short appearances and online videos, but he hasn’t stepped into a WWE ring since his initial run ended. How cool would it be if tonight was the night he showed up on Smackdown and got into an actual match?
Smackdown kicks off right with a Divas costume battle royal.
Number One Contender Divas Costume Battle Royal
AJ is on commentary.
So, we’re letting this decide who gets to be the number one contender for AJ’s title. Okay. At least there will be some justification this time, if Paige wins. Last time, she got random shots just because. Just remember that Eva Marie still technically deserves a shot. But, then, so does Randy Orton — for a different title, obviously — and that also hasn’t happened. Eva isn’t even in this battle royal, by the way. Where is she? I have no idea.
The match is a joke. You’d expect it to be a joke. It’s shorter than the entrances. Nikki Bella wins.
Match Rating: *1/2
At least this is different from AJ/Paige for the umpteenth time.
Kane and Seth Rollins cut a promo afterward. It … is boring. But whatever. Kane’s in a match next.
Kane (with Seth Rollins, Joey Mercury, and Jamie Noble) vs. Dolph Ziggler
This is a rematch from Raw. It was a really good match on Raw, too. It makes sense to do it again, I guess, especially because Smackdown has so many rematches anyway. The Raw match was better, I think. It was better paced, was more entertaining, and just overall was a better showing for both men. But, hey, it’s still fine, and Kane winds up winning, which is swell. Kane even wins clean. Believe that? I still don’t, and I saw it. Kane has, what, three wins this year?
Match Rating: **1/2
The two bodyguards join Kane in a post-match beatdown. Does John Cena come out to save Ziggler, like Ziggler did on Raw? Nope. Kane grabs a mic and announces Rollins vs. Ziggler. Right now. After Ziggler was already down and out.
Seth Rollins (with Kane, Joey Mercury, and Jamie Noble) vs. Dolph Ziggler
Rollins hits his finisher and wins.
Match Rating: *
For some reason, here in Canada, we got a replay of the Miz/Sandow vs. The Usos match from Raw. I wonder what segment we lost. Thanks, Rogers.
Heath Slater vs. Ryback
Ryback squashes Heath Slater. Slater was dressed as a scarecrow. Ryback wins with a few moves.
Match Rating: *
An irrelevant Adam Rose segment happens afterward, which takes us to our break. After that, it’s time for Miz TV, with The Miz and Damien Sandow. The guest tonight? Mark Henry. Henry explains his heel turn. Big Show eventually comes down, they fight, and Henry throws Show through a barrier. That’s … something. Mark Henry needs to be heel. It’s the only way his character really works, especially with his current theme song.
Los Matadores (Fernando and Diego) vs. Goldust and Stardust
So, explain this to me. Stardust and Goldust don’t get to win unless it’s on PPV, right? Why? Los Matadores shouldn’t be beating the tag team champions. But that’s what happens here. The matadors wind up winning. The match is kind of long and has a couple of decent spots, but it’s really not all that interesting. I mean, apart from the time when El Torito should have gotten his team disqualified. A roll-up sees the defeat of Goldust and Stardust, even though they should have won by DQ.
Match Rating: **
There’s a See No Evil 2 promo next, which sees Erick Rowan watching the movie. Kane comes in and sits down beside him. Rowan briefly takes off his sheep mask and tells Kane that Kane scared him. Huh.
The Great Khali vs. Rusev (with Lana)
Hey, remember when Khali was the monster heel of choice? And then we found out he can’t even do more than a couple of moves? Yeah. Good times. Rusev squashes Khali in a couple of moves. Khali taps out to The Accolade.
Match Rating: *
Lana cuts a promo after the match. Rusev is going to go for the United States Championship next, to further ruin the spirit of its host country.
This would make more sense if, you know, the title wasn’t being held by an Irish man, but whatever. Sheamus comes out to the stage and accepts Rusev’s challenge. Sheamus runs down to the ring and tries to hit a Brogue Kick on Rusev. Because surprise attacks are the things the babyface does. Rusev ducks it and rolls out of the ring.
Bray Wyatt is out with his magical lantern and his rocking chair after the commercial break. We’ve been promised that he’ll explain to us why he targeted Dean Ambrose. He talks about Halloween. And masks. He asks us why people wear masks, apparently unaware that Erick Rowan, a member of his family, wears a sheep mask all the time. Wyatt says some things about Ambrose, but … I don’t know. Wyatt can work a mic but his promos are just too uninvolving. They happen, but that’s about it.
Trick or Street Fight Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Cesaro
Cesaro is basically a super-jobber at this point, so who do you think is going to win? The ring is decorated with pumpkins and other Halloween stuff. Weapons and non-weapons-that-still-hurt get involved really early on. It’s a brawl. It’s not much of a match. But it’s entertaining. It gets vicious, and it’s a pretty good street fight. Ambrose wins, as you’d expect him to.
Match Rating: ***
Ambose hits a second Dirty Deeds on Cesaro after the match.
The Good: Trick or Street Fight.
The Bad: Rusev vs. Khali. No Boogeyman.
Match of the Night: Trick or Street Fight.